Teacher Training
by todd fan
Summary: COMPLETE! The second in my group torture fics. The Adults get it this time, with a long course in childcare.
1. A new nightmare begins

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: 'Damn you scuba steve!'  
  
***  
  
Okay, this is another one of my bizare and random 'pick on a certain group' fics. Remember 'Sugar and Spice'?. Well, this is like that, for the adults. *Laughs in a manical way* So you could call this a sequel....kinda.  
  
Kurt: It's just an excuse to vrite stuff vith Sabertooth, Forge and Angel in eet, and get ze adults to make fools of themselves.  
  
HELL YEAH! Okay, i really don't consider Remy, Pyro and Piotr as 'adults' they are, i think, teens, older teens, but still teens, so they won't be in this as much...sorry. But anyone above that in the 'adult' category will suffer, whowhahhahahahhahahhaa! Maybe my third will be the Acolyes....tee hee. Thanks to rabi_sultan, who went though his list of bizare songs for Magneto to sing until i found one i liked.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 1 - Another nightmare begins  
  
****  
  
"I'm worried", stated Hank, watching as Kitty and Kurt put suitcases into the X-Van, "i'm very worried".  
  
"I second that motion", said Ororo, her eyebrow rising as she recognised one of the suitcases as her own.  
  
"Maybe Chuck's planned a vacation fer us all?", said Logan hopefully.  
  
"Then why he he smirking at us?", asked Hank, pointing to Xavier as he wheeled over, indeed, smirking.  
  
"I'm afraid", admited Logan.  
  
"Hello my dear faculty", said Xavier with a grin to put the Cheshire cat to shame.  
  
"Charles...what is going on?", asked Ororo, rather worriedly, "why are our suitcases being packed away?".  
  
"All your questions will be answered, Ororo", said Xavier, putting up a hand, "just as soon as i have everyone".  
  
There was the sound of flapping overhead and Warren Worthington III dropped from the air to land easily amongst the others.  
  
"So, where's the trouble?", he asked, "you said you needed my help desperately. Well, i'm here and.....how did my suitcase get over here?...and why is it being loaded into the X-Van?".  
  
"Hello Warren", said Xavier, "glad you can make it, now all we need is...".  
  
As if on cue, a phycadelic painted pick-up truck drove down the drive-way and stopped. Forge clambered out with his tool kit. He paused, seeing everyone outside, then blinked in suprise as Bobby walked past with a suitcase...his suitcase...how the?  
  
"There is no emergency fault with the Danger Room...is there?", he said, eyeing Xavier supisously.  
  
"No", said Xavier, "well, everyone in the van, chop chop".  
  
The adults all blinked in unison.  
  
"I 'aint goin' nowhere until ya tell me what's going on, Chuck", said Logan, crossing his arms stubornly.  
  
"I was afraid of that", said Xavier, before putting a hand to his temple, "sleep".  
  
Suddenly, each and every adult dropped to the ground in a slumber.  
  
****  
  
Logan groaned as he opened his eyes, a familiar scent catching his nostrils and making him jolt awake. He gave a feral growl when he saw Sabertooth sat on the seat next to him in the X-Van. Sabertooth had his arms crossed and was obviously sulking.  
  
"Well well, if Sleepin' Ugly hasn't gone and woken up!", he said with a sneer.  
  
Logan snarled then glanced around to get his bearings. They were, indeed in the X-Van, a moving X-Van at that. Sat up front were Xavier in the passenger seat, with Mastermind next to him, who looked to be sulking as much as Sabertooth. What shocked Logan more was Magneto in the drivers seat, singing along to the radio cheerfully.  
  
"Huh?", said Logan, before looking around the rest of the van.  
  
Mystique was snoring in a corner, as was Storm, the two women being given their own little area of the Van. Across from him slept Forge, and behind Forge, Beast and Angel.....something was very very wrong here.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Logan", said Xavier from up front, "we are all having a little...growing adventure".  
  
"Growing adventure?", repeated Logan  
  
"Yeah", said Sabertooth grumpily, "our great leaders decided we should be better suited as adults to care fer teens. I don't even CARE about the stinkin' teens!".  
  
"No, but you work with them", said Magneto.  
  
"Then why is SHE here?", said Sabertooth, jerking a thumb at Mystique.  
  
"You know what her mothering skills are like, Victor", said Magneto, receiving a rather dangerous growl, "they need work".  
  
"THE BREAD IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!", shouted Hank in his sleep, making Forge and Angel jerk awake.  
  
"Whatzat?", said Forge, then looked around him, "this...really can't be good".  
  
"Magneto!", said Warren, "i should have known you would be behind this evil plot and...are you listening to Madonna?".  
  
"Why, yes i am!", said Magneto, "'cause we a living in a material world, and i am a material girl!".  
  
"There is no evil plot", said Xavier, "consider it...teacher training".  
  
"Question, why are WE here?", asked Angel, indicating to Forge and himself, "we are NOT teachers at your school, nor do we have anything do do with the children..at all".  
  
"Because it will be a growing moment for you", said Magneto "...plus Jason and Victor refused to go without you suffering too".  
  
"Thank you, Jason and Victor", said Forge, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
****  
  
It wasn't long before the rest of the group had woken up, each saying how it was unjust for them to be there, before giving up and sulking.  
  
"There goes my weekend plans!", snapped Mystique.  
  
"Actually...it's three weeks", said Xavier, "suprise!".  
  
"WHAT?!!!!", errupted the bus.  
  
"I am NOT spending three weeks with these...scary, scary freaks", said Warren.  
  
"Who are you callin' a freak, wing-boy?", said Sabertooth.  
  
"Hey, you leave the prissy rich-boy alone, Bub", saiid Logan, popping out his claws.  
  
"HEY!", said Angel, "i'm not prissy!".  
  
"No fighting", said Xavier, "we are to handle this like civilised adults, am i clear?".  
  
"Yes Professor", said the car in unison.  
  
"Wait!", said Storm suddenly, "who is looking after the children?!!!".  
  
"My Acolytes", said Magneto smugly, "gee...i sure hope Piotr can keep John from burning the palce to the ground".  
  
Mystique suddenly gave an indignant snort.  
  
"So THAT'S why Irene suddenly needed to take that 'Buisness Trip'!", she said, "she saw what was coming and got out of there before you could get her!".  
  
"Clever Irene", mused Hank.  
  
"So", said Logan finally, "where will we be stayin'?".  
  
"Here", said Xavier, passing a hotel brochure to the back of the van, "it's the Dew-Drop hotel. There will be seminars for you to got to, some even on things other than children and teaching and..."  
  
He paused when Logan snarled as Mystqiue snatched the brochure from him.  
  
"I can't believe we're stuck in this stupid hotel for three...HEY they have a health spa!".  
  
"As i was saying", said Xavier with a cough, "you will have to attened the daily seminars on your time-table, but how you spend the rest of your time is up to you....but please, PLEASE don't do anything....juvinile".  
  
"I WAN'T THE WINDOW SEAT!".  
  
"YOU HAD IT ALL THE TIME I WAS SLEEPIN' IT'S MY TURN!".  
  
Xavier sighed as Sabertooth and Logan jostled for position, this was going to be a long ride....  
  
****  
  
Soooooo what do you think?. Asi said before, if you think of it as a sequel to Sugar and Spice, you can get a good idea of what sort of madness to expect. The good thing about this is, you don't NEED to have read Sugar and Spice to enjoy it....did that make sense? Neh. Do review, until next time..... 


	2. Take out and check in

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I don't think you want the word 'pit' on a wedding invitation"  
  
***  
  
Wow, i am soo glad this was well recieved. DragonBlond - God, i remember that movie, i loved it, can't WAIT to see your parody of it! So, without further ado, lets continue the madness!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 2 - Take out and check in.  
  
****  
  
Xavier gave a blissfull sigh, the van was silent once more. After much bikering and seat swapping, Sabertooth and Logan had been put on oposite ends of the van. Ororo and Raven had started pushing and shoving each other and also had to be seperated. Angel had gotten quite bored and had started pulling on Forge's clam shell necklace and poinging it back, resulting in him almost getting a drill bit hammered into his left eye socket. In fact, the only people being reasonably 'good' were Hank, who was reading, and Jason, who's eyes were glowing, Magneto saying he'd probably gone to his 'happy place'. Xavier glanced up as a 'Smiley Meal' resteraunt sign popped into view.  
  
"Who's hungry?", he asked, in a tone that one would use with five year olds on a field trip.  
  
"Oh i am, Professor!", said Hank, putting his hand up and waving.  
  
"Teachers Pet", muttered Mystique.  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are so!"  
  
"HEY!", shouted Magneto, "if you don't stop fighting, then i'm going to drive right past it! Am i clear?".  
  
The van fell silent.  
  
"Good", said Magneto, driving up the slip-way to the drive-thru order box, which was shaped like a smiling dinosaur.  
  
"Welcome to Smiley Meal", came the voice of what sounded like a teenager from the other end, "can i please take your order".  
  
Magneto turned around to face everyone, and was bombarded with orders. Jason jerked out of wherever his mind had been and blinked.  
  
"Yelling?", he said, disoriantated, "oh i thought i was on a van headed to....oh poo, still here".  
  
Magneto winced as his brain tried to process all the orders and he gave them to the teen.  
  
"Wow...that's a large order", said the teen, "with such an order, you get a free Super Duper Smiley Meal, with a Super Duper Smiley Toy".  
  
"Err.....okay", said Magneto, blinking.  
  
Warren cleared his throat.  
  
"As the youngest adult here....I GET DIBS ON THE SUPER DUPER SMILEY TOY!".  
  
"Awwwwww", said Logan picking at the seat in front of him, "i wanted the toy".  
  
"Please go to the pick-up area for your food", said the teen, "have a nice day!".  
  
"Yeah, i know you will", muttered Magneto under his breath, "all the damn money spent on feeding these people".  
  
"Money is no object, remember Magnus?", said Xavier with a grin, "enjoy yourself".  
  
Magneto muttered under his breath and drove up to the pick-up window and waited...and waited.  
  
"WHERE'S MY GOD DAMN MEAL?!!!", he finally shouted at the window.  
  
A rather pimply teenager poped his head out of the window.  
  
"Your order will be done in a few seconds", he said, "sorry for the inconvinience".  
  
With that, the teen slammed the window closed, leaving Magneto staring at it in shock. Sabertooth raised a clawed hand.  
  
"Can i go bust him open, sir?", he asked.  
  
"No, Victor", said Mganeto, massaging his temples, "we agreed on no killing, remember?".  
  
"Oh...yeah", said Sabertooth with a sigh, then looked up hopefully, "how about mauling?".  
  
"No, Victor, no mauling either", said Magneto, drumming his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, "come on, come on, COME ON!!!!".  
  
Suddenly, the teen re-appeared passing through the meals into the van.  
  
"Have a nice day!", he said happily.  
  
"Have a nice lonely prom-night", said Magneto snidely, driving off.  
  
Within seconds, the bus was once again squabbling over the food.  
  
"Maybe we should have taken the teenagers instead?", said Xavier, ducking as a french fry flew at his head.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later and everyone had calmed...of course they had, they were full! Warren was quietly looking at a small monkey, who's eyes lit up and banged some cymbals together. Every now and again, Logan would steal a longing glance at it.  
  
"Hey, we made it!", said Jason, sitting upright and pointing at the hotel in the horizon.  
  
"Yeaaaaahhh!", said Sabertooth, "no more van, nice warm bed, bar!".  
  
"Fer once, i wholeheartedly agree with you", said Logan, "bring on the booze!".  
  
Magneto sighed as he parked the van up in the car park and got out, stretching.  
  
"Someone else is driving back", he stated, "i don't care who, but it's NOT going to be me".  
  
"Understood", said Xavier, "lets check in, shall we?".  
  
"This better not be a 'you don't check out' kinda place", said Loagn, crossing his arms.  
  
*****  
  
Storm sighed frustratedly as she watched the fish swim around their little tank. They were so relaxing, and after a loooooong van ride with those idiots she needed to get herself back to her serene state before she caused a freak tornado to rip through the hotel, slaughtering everyone within a....she blinked, boy, did she need to relax. No such luck.  
  
"Cooooool fish!", said Sabertooth, tapping the glass with a clawed finger, making the fish swim off into hiding in a panic.  
  
Elsewhere in the lobby, the other...ahem..adults were attempting to keep themselves from being bored. Forge had absent-mindedly goten hold of Warren's Super Duper Smiley Toy and had taken it apart, re-making it into a pocket torch with built in bottle-opener without even looking at it. Warren was being followed by the hotel manager, who was offering him every comodity under the sun, they didn't regulary have people of his class there, they wanted to make him feel comfy....and spend all of his money. Hank had not looked up from his book, which was a good thing, considering the stares he was getting from the hotel's visitors, as were Mystique and Jason.Xavier wheeled over and cleared his throat, making everyone turn to look at him.  
  
"We have a slight....dilema", he said.  
  
"What?", asked Mystique, her voice turning hopefull, "we can go home?".  
  
"No", said Xavier, "There are only three normal double rooms left....which means one pair will have to use the..ahem..honeymoon suite".  
  
All the adults looked at each other.  
  
"NO!".  
  
"I know!", said Magneto, striding over, "we'll draw straws".  
  
"I like that idea", said Warren, running off to the resteruant and coming back with his hand full of straws, "hey, someone even cut them for me, they're so helpfull here!".  
  
He clicked his fingers and a Bell-Boy ran over to him.  
  
"Yes Mr Worthington?", he asked gviing a small bow.  
  
"Hold these", said Warren, handing him the straws.  
  
The Bell-Boy blinked at this bizare request, but he had been told not to argue with this client so he nodded his head and did as he was told. Everyone closed his or her eyes and dove in, each grabbing a straw.  
  
"Aww, crud!", said Logan, looking at his tiny straw.  
  
"Double crud", said Sabertooth, looking at his own little straw, "i want a recount!!!".  
  
"Nope, the straws have chosen!", said Magneto, "sorry...this should be...interesting".  
  
"Hope someone packed the bandages", said Mystique.  
  
************  
  
After a little more bickering, the rest of the rooms were eventually sorted out, Sabertooth and Logan had been pushed itno their honeymoon suite and had been told to duke it out over themslves. Mystique and Storm, being the only two ladies, had taken a room, as had Hank and Jason, Magneto and Xavier, and Forge and Angel. Luckily, all the rooms were either next to or across the hall from each other, Xavier had requested it that way, just in case. He had opted not to mention that if he had chosen the rooms to be apart, Logan and Sabertooth wouldn't of had to share a honeymoon suite...he wanted to keep his remaining limbs in order.  
  
"Ok everyone", he said, "tonight is just to get settled in, have a stroll around, do what you like....".  
  
Hank raised a hand.  
  
"Except leave", added Xavier.  
  
*******  
  
Whoahahahhahahha! Oh what fun! How will everyone cope with their rommates?, well, you'll have to wait and see, won't you? Do review, until next time.... 


	3. Checking the teritory

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Discliamer: "My roommate is depressive rock star. You are a candy-ass, show tune singing, high school cheerleader".  
  
****  
  
Thanks to all my reviewers, i know all of you haven't read chapter 2, you should do that now..then FF.Net went down, stupid thing.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 3 - Checking the teritory  
  
***  
  
Sabertooth and Logan stared at the bed from either side.  
  
"You are NOT havin' the bed", said Loagn , crossing his arms.  
  
"I'm bigger", said Sabertooth.  
  
"So?", said Logan, "you smell worse too!".  
  
Sabertooth snarled, and Logan popped out his claws. Suddenly, Mystique stormed in.  
  
"Okay, me and Storm are RIGHT NEXT DOOR!", she said, "if you don't shut up, we will be forced to kill you both in a very bloody, violent way".  
  
As if to emphasise Mystique's point, a rumble of thunder could be heard from outside. Mystique sighed, crossing her arms.  
  
"Why don't you just share the goddamn bed?!", she said.  
  
Both men looked at her as if she had grown an extra head.  
  
"Because guys don't do that!", snapped Logan.  
  
"Yeah it's...weird!", said Sabertooth, "besides, him and his stinkin' metal bones will make the bed cold!".  
  
"Better than leaving cat-hair all over it", countered Logan  
  
"You're not going to get anywhere this way!", she said, "how about you split the bed?. Logan sleeps in it one night, Victor sleeps in it the other?".  
  
Both men looked to their feet, muttering.  
  
"Who gets it first?", asked Logan.  
  
"I know a way of settlin' this", said Sabertooth, cracking his knuckles.  
  
"So do i", said Logan with a feral grin, putting his hands into fists.  
  
Mystique watched this quietly, if they killed each other, she wanted first dibs on this big room. The two rivals eyed each other for a second before shaking their fists at each other.  
  
"Rock, paper, scissors", they said in unison, before Sabertooth held out two clawed fingers to Logan's flat palm.  
  
"HAH!", said Sabertooth triumpantly, "scissors cuts paper, i'm first!".  
  
"Fine", grumbled Logan, "i'll sleep on the..floor...stupid scissors".  
  
****  
  
Jason was starting to regret his choice of roommate...maybe he could convince Forge to swap, get the geeks in one room. Hank was currently unpacking his books...he had alot of them...you could build a small fort out of the things...oh God, he really hoped he wouldn't.  
  
"They have some really good physics seminars on while we're here", Hank carried on, as he unpacked, "i can't wait to go see them. Hear some of the great minds on the planet. You should come and see some, what do you think Jason?".  
  
He turned around, Jason had vanished.  
  
"Jason?".  
  
Jason walked past him, and sat down.  
  
"Yeah, THAT'S gonna happen", he said, his eyes glowing faintly as Hank tried to figure out where he had gone.  
  
*****  
  
"Thurday, Friday, Happy Days, Saturday, what a day, grooving all week with you".  
  
Warren paused from putting some things in the bathroom upon hearing the TV turn on. He walked out and glared at the sitcom on TV as Forge smiled, humming along to the theme tune.  
  
"I am NOT watching THAT", said Warren bluntly.  
  
"Why not?", said Forge, "it's boss quality programing".  
  
"Yeah", said Warren, "if you're from the seventies!".  
  
Forge gave him a slow, dead-pan look. Warren, realising what he had said sighed.  
  
"Sorry. Well, i still think we should watch something more interesting...like Jerry Springer!".  
  
"Who?".  
  
Warren paused on this, before grabbing the remote.  
  
"Hey!", said Forge jumping after the remote, "give it here, it's MY TV too!".  
  
The pair played tug-of-war with the remote, pressing all kinds of buttons when suddenly, the TV made a funny noise and the channel switched to a 24-7 porn channel. Both blinked.  
  
"What did you press?", asked Warren.  
  
"What did I press?", said Forge, "i didn't press anything! You were the one pressing!".  
  
"Then how did we get this?", said Warren, waving his hand confusedly at the TV.  
  
"I don't know".  
  
"I thought YOU were a genius!", snapped Warren, "we probably have to pay for this, switch it over!".  
  
Forge flicked the channel change button, bringing up the same channel again. He blinked and flicked through all the channels, getting the same channel each time.  
  
"It's on all the channels", he said, stating the obvious.  
  
Warren gave a frustrated sigh, picking up the room-service phone.  
  
"Hi, yes it's Mr Worthington", he said, "i was just wondering, are there any recent orders on my bill? No? None for the TV? Nothing at all?...Ok...thank you".  
  
He put the phone down and grinned.  
  
"I got free porn!", he said happily, sitting down on the room's small couch and putting his feet on the coffee table, "man, it rocks being rich!".  
  
"I wouldn't know", said Forge dryly, "inventing isn't exactly a good source of income".  
  
"Stop complaining and watch the free porn!".  
  
*****  
  
"Okay Remy, yes, i do understand that Bobby makes alot of ice...yes..oh he did what?...oh...ok. Yes, well...i suppose that's fine, yes please remember to keep John away from naked flame of any kind....yes i AM aware that is not as easy as it sounds. Ok...Talk to you tomorrow".  
  
Magneto sighed as he put the phone down.  
  
"Well Charles, everything is going well at the intitute....well....except for Bobby freezing Jamie to a fence-post...".  
  
"And?", prompted Xavier with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"And John getting into your study...the one with the open fireplace...don't worry, very little has been burnt".  
  
"Couldn't you have left THAT one behind?", asked Xavier with a sigh.  
  
"No", said Magneto simply, "John needs to keep himself occupied, or he starts to burn things...if he was on his own, my base would be burnt to the ground by now. As long as those kids of yours keep him on his toes, there will be fewer fires".  
  
"Oh...goodie".  
  
"You weren't particually attached to that woven rug..were you?", asked Magneto.  
  
"Considering it is one of my family's heirlooms, yes...why?", asked Xavier, getting slightly worried.  
  
"Oh...never mind", said Magneto quickly, a little TOO quickly.  
  
"Magnus?".  
  
"Remy may have used it to...errr...smother the flames", siad Magneto, "it got a teensy weensy bit burnt in the process".  
  
"How much is a teensy weensy bit?", asked Xavier.  
  
"Well...let me put it this way", said Magneto, "it goes well with your toasted armchair".  
  
******  
  
Storm glanced up from the hotel brouchure as Mystique walked back into the room.  
  
"Are they dead?", she asked calmly.  
  
"No", said Mystique, "i put on some wresting show on TV, they sat down quietly and are watching that".  
  
"Damn", replied Storm, "so close to getting the good room".  
  
"Anything remotely interesting in that guide that doesn't involve kids..or science?", asked Mystique.  
  
"Well, there's a health spa, a swimming pool, oooohhh we can get free massages from these Swedish masseurs", said Storm, pointing at the buff men in the photograph.  
  
"Helooooo", said Mystique, "well, we'll have to take advantage of that...or rather them".  
  
The two giggled like schoolgirls and headed off. Even though mortal enemies, they were the only females in the group. If they didn't stick together, they would be alone with a bunch of boys for company, speaking of which....as they passed the entertainment lobby, they found Jason enertaining two children by making small circus animals walk around on a table, and Forge making a working miniature guilotine out of beer mats, ashtrays and elastic bands.  
  
"What are you two doing down here?", asked Mystique as she walked up to them both, followed by Storm.  
  
"Avoiding Hank before he makes me read any of his books..or attend a lecture", said Jason, disapating the anaimals and watching as the kids ran off, giggling.  
  
"I need a porn-free zone", said Forge, not looking up from his work, "Warren won't even let me turn the TV off, he thinks we'll lose it".  
  
"Who knew Warren was like that?", said Storm tilting her head to the side, "huh..oh, a gift shop!".  
  
"What IS it with women and shopping?", asked Jason, Forge shrugged in reply, flicking the little guilotene so it set itself off, chopping through a small cocktail unbrella.  
  
"Hey, we like shopping", said Mystique, "but we have a date with Hans and Jack".  
  
"Who?", both men blinked.  
  
Storm sighed, getting out the brouchure and pointing at the massuers.  
  
"Oh", said Forge, "...ok...you do that".  
  
"Wanna come with?", asked Mystique, "relive some tension?".  
  
"No thank you", said Forge, "the idea of being pummeled by two brawny guys is not my idea of 'fun'".  
  
"Your loss", said Mystique, nothing that Jason had made himself invisable again to avoid the question being asked to him, "a simple 'no' would do it Mastermind!".  
  
She shook her head, muttering about men in general as she and Storm left to be pampered.  
  
******  
  
Another chappie done! Oh in case you are enjoying hearing what happens in the Institute, you will be pleased to know that the sequel to this fic will show exactly what DID happen while the adults were away, yup. But you have to wait until this one is done, it'll be a while yet.. Do review. Until next time... 


	4. Nightime 'fun'

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "That's a lovely wrap you have there , perhaps i could get you some slippers made from the heads of innocent and defenseless baby seals?".  
  
***  
  
Yey, you like this fic, you really like it!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 4 - Nightime 'fun'  
  
***  
  
Hank walked out of the lecture hall more than a little disapointed. He'd expected something a little more...challenging than that, oh well, there were many more he could go to. He glanced up as Mystique walked past, she sighed happily and waved at him.  
  
"Hiiiiiii"  
  
"Yes...you DO seem high", said Hank, raising an eyebrow, "i'd say you were setting a bad example..but compared to the others...that is probably tame".  
  
"I'm not THAT kind of high", said Mystique, still grinning, "but that masseur can work wonders. I'm going to go...lie down".  
  
"Yes..you do that", said Hank, watching her walks off, more than slightly disturbed by the womans overall calmness, "wait..where's Ororo?".  
  
"She said she was going for a swim", said Mystique in a care-free way before humming and walking happily back to her room.  
  
***  
  
Well...technically, that wasn't all-together true. Yes, Storm was at the swimming pool, but she wasn't swiming. She was currently vegged out on a pool chair watching a guy as he did lengths in the pool. He paused in mid stroke, seeing her and smiling, swimming over to the poolside to lean on it and grin at her.  
  
"Hi there, little lady", he said, giving her a winning smile, "i haven't seen you around here before, and i'm sure i would recognise a beautifull woman like you around".  
  
Storm cleared her throat and blushed.  
  
"I arrived today", she said, then sighed, "i'm with the Xavier group for the Teacher Training programe".  
  
The man smiled.  
  
"Ahhh Xavier, so you work at the Mutant school?. Must be interesting".  
  
Storm blinked, no mutie coments, no profanities...that was a nice change.  
  
"Yes..it is indeed", she said, "though it helps to be one myself".  
  
The man pulled himself out of the pool and walked over to her, offering a hand.  
  
"Clint Gilman".  
  
Storm smiled taking his hand and shaking it.  
  
"Ororo Munroe".  
  
"Ahhh Ororo", said Clint, "African for 'Beautifull', i see they got your name spot on".  
  
"Oh......thank you", said Ororo, taken off guard.  
  
"If you're new here, i would be glad to show you around", said Clint, "I have been here a few days myself, i instruct a swiming course for disabled children".  
  
"Awwwwwwwwww", said Ororo.  
  
"Yeah...i get that alot", said Clint, "let me get changed, and i'll show you the many things this hotel has to offer, if you'd like that is".  
  
"Sure", said Storm, "that..would be nice".  
  
****  
  
"Warren....you should get some sleep".  
  
Xavier and Jason stared as Warren turned his head very slowly to look at them, his eyes wide and unblinking, he looked like an extra for Children of the Corn...with wings.  
  
"Yeah, but what if Forge comes in and turns off the TV?", said Warren, "i'll lose the free porn! I can't DO that! Think of my reputation as a GUY!".  
  
"You can't keep the TV on for three weeks", said Jason, "and you CAN'T stay awake for three weeks".  
  
"Watch me".  
  
Jason and Xavier exchnaged a glance, then shrugged.  
  
"Okay, your deluded mind", said Jason, "don't come crying to me once you've messed your brain up".  
  
"I regretably have to agree with Jason on this one", said Xavier, "you will exhaust yourself, besides, you DO have to attend the classes".  
  
"Yeah!", said Jason, then blinked, "wait.....what do you mean regretably'?".  
  
"I'll attend the classes", said Warren, waving them off, "now leave me and the free porn be!".  
  
****  
  
Mystique gave a contented sigh from where she was slumped on the bed, watching 'Wheel Of Fortune' on the TV.  
  
"The answer is 'House on Haunted Hill'!", she said to the TV, and it's rather dim contestant, "oh look, the words are RIGHT THERE!".  
  
She glanced up as Storm happily walked in, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, the room getting slightly warmer.  
  
"Hello Raven", said Storm, happily sitting down on her bed.  
  
"You seem...happy", said Mystique, switching off the TV, "okay girl, i want details, and i want them now".  
  
"Details?", said Storm, inocently, "details on what?".  
  
"Oh, don't you play that game with me!", said Mystique, "i KNOW you're hiding something, come on, spill it!".  
  
Storm smiled.  
  
"I just met a wonderfull man", she said, "his name's Clint and he's a swimming instructor here, for diabled children".  
  
"Awwwww", said Mystique, "so...is he hot?".  
  
"Mmmmmm", said Storm, "and sweet and romantic, and inteligent....did we already cover hot?".  
  
"Look at you, getting a date", said Mystique, "so..you gonna see him again?".  
  
"Maybe", said Storm with a knowing smile.  
  
"Man, this is like Dirty Dancing, where you're the sweet girl being seduced by the hot instuctor", said Mystique, "and you have to sneak around so he doesn't lose his job...man, i would have killed for excitement like that!".  
  
"Yes", said Storm, then chuckled, "i think i will take him up on his dinner offer tomorrow night".  
  
*********  
  
Quite a few hours later, Magneto groaned and pulled the pillow over his head, trying to stuffle out the noise. He had forgotten that Charles was a notorious snorer.  
  
"Shut up shut up", he muttered to himself, but Xavier ignored him, carying on with that terrible noise.  
  
Magneto muttered profanties under his breath and got up, sleepily getting dressed and trudging out of the room. He walked past Warren and Forge's room to still hear the sound of the porn...dear God, that Angel boy would make himself ill. He could hear the ladies giggling, and utter silence from the other rooms, maybe someone had killed the other, then he could swap rooms. He plodded downstairs giving the desk clerk a sleepy glare before he trodded into the all-hour cafeteria, maybe he could pick himself something nice to eat to help him sleep. He paused, noticing Forge sitting at one of the tables, constructing.....something out of cocktail uberellas, pickles and little continental rolls. By the small light of his table, he looked the very personification of a demented scientist, totally focused on his work. Magneto gave a slightly worried gulp before walking sleepily over.  
  
"Do you EVER sleep?", he asked the working Cheyenne  
  
"Sometimes", said Forge, skewering a few pickles into the cocktail umbrellas, "my mutation means my subconcious is always trying to work out how to make stuff. Heck, even if i do get to sleep, i'll dream about making something and then make it in my sleep".  
  
"You sleep....invent?".  
  
"Yep", replied Forge, not taking his eyes from the..errr..thing on the table in front of him, "i have a closet-full of stuff that i daren't touch 'cause i don't know what they do after making them in my sleep".  
  
"......You scare me".  
  
"I scare alot of people, i scare me", said Forge, "besides, it's hard to sleep with a 'bowchickawowow' sound in the background".  
  
"Warren still won't turn off the porn?".  
  
"No, he has created a 'protective shield of porn' around the TV", said Forge, "he won't even let me mute it".  
  
"I can hear it through the Godamned WALL!", said Hank as he plodded up with a yawn, "Jason's gone into some freaky mode where he can't hear anything, but i sure as hell can!".  
  
He sat down and banged his head on the table, causing Forge's...thing to collapse.  
  
"Awww", said Forge, "i've been working on that all night".  
  
"I don't think i can cope with the first task tomorrow", said Magneto with a sad sigh, "i'd pull a sickie, but Charles has hidden my helmet".  
  
****  
  
Tee hee, lotsa fun. In case you are wondering, Clint is a cross between The Fonz and Rocky from Chicken Run...get used to him, he'll be around for a bit. Do review, until next time.... 


	5. Class is in session

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Call now for your free plant. A FREE PLANT for FAT SLOBS".  
  
*****  
  
Howdy my dear readers, such joy it is to read your reviews, they brighten my day like the first rays of the suns light in the morning.  
  
Todd: "Where'd THAT come from?".  
  
I do not know. Could have been that not-too-healthy looking microwave dinner i just ate. *Sigh* Don't worry, i really AM working on the promised Todd/Kitty fic, it's harder than i thought it would be :P  
  
****  
  
Chapter 5 - Class is in session  
  
***  
  
The next morning, after a rather dangerous time at breakfast where insults and conintental rolls were thrown, everyone found themselves in a small confrence room. Besides the ever so nicely dubbed 'mutant group', there were a few other people, none of which looked happy to be there, except of course, the instuctor, who smiled happily.  
  
"Hellloooo there happy teachers!", she said, in a way too cheerful voice for that time in the morning, "i am Miss Gelder, and i will be teaching you the ways to nurture your young charges and become their FRIEND".  
  
"Gelder..Gelder", muttered Xavier, "why does that name seem so familiar?".  
  
"Now, as a Camp Counsilor, i learned that befriending a youngster is a great way to let them build up foundation of trust", said Gelder.  
  
"Why isn't she counsiling now?", asked Jason.  
  
Overhearing this, Gelder cleared her throat.  
  
"I had to leave because we had a few...issues with some campers", she said, "the doctor said i can come off the medication any day now".  
  
"Charles....i'm scared", said Magneto.  
  
"We all are", said Xavier, "maybe this wasn't the..best of my ideas".  
  
******  
  
A few minutes later, and the adults were staring at their project for the day. Each held a single egg in his or her hand.  
  
"We have found that good parents also make good teachers", said Gelder, still smiling, "thus to test you parenting skills, you will be required to look after a egg for the day. Your egg is your child, and thus you must take care of it as one".  
  
"Okay, i did this in high school", said Hank, "can i sit it out?".  
  
"No. Now we have stationed several places in the hotel in which you are to take your 'child'", she said, "once you have been to a place, and spent the right amount of time there, doing what the sheet tells you to, you may move on. We have people at each place, just so you don't cheat".  
  
"Lucky us", said Magneto, "wait, i'm already a parent, can i leave?".  
  
"Me too me too!", said Mystique, waving her hand in the air.  
  
"And me", said Sabertooth.  
  
"Does looking after my nephew count?", from Storm.  
  
"No, you must all do the egg-baby project", said Gelder, "you can stay in groups if you like. Meet back here in eight hours, hopefully with your egg in tact".  
  
With that, she vanished, leaving the adults looking more than slightly perplexed. Jason sighed and looked down at the sheet they had been given.  
  
"Okay, lets get this over with", he said, "oh look, a petting zoo".  
  
***  
  
After getting lost more than a few times, and Logan nearly dropping his egg on more than one occasion, the group finally made it to a tiny little petting zoo put up in one of the lecture rooms. One of the hotel staff watched from the door like a P.O.W guard, once they were in, there was no way out. Logan glanced at his paper.  
  
"Bond with your 'child' by showing him/her the animals and talking about them", he paused, blinking, "i am NOT talkin' to an egg!".  
  
"Play fair, Logan", said Xavier, "the sooner we get this over and done with, the sooner we can leave.  
  
Sabertoooth had wandered off amongst the small, furry creatures, carrying his egg in his huge clawed hand. He paused at the hamsters, staring at them, tranfixed.  
  
"Look at 'em", he said in a far-away voice, "runnin on their little wheels, scurryin' around, their little whiskers twitching".  
  
He gave an odd meowing sound and batted the glass of their tank.  
  
"I really hope that's strong glass", commented Magneto as he watched the assasin trying to pry his way in to get at the little rodents, who didn't seem bothered by him, at all.  
  
"I'm gonna call you....Cookie!".  
  
Both Magneto and Xavier paused to look at Warren, who was tickling his egg and talking to it as you would a baby.  
  
"Yes, Cookie!", he said, "aww you're so cute. Yes you are!".  
  
"I told you that porn would warp his mind", said Magneto.  
  
"Okay", said Xavier, "i owe you a coke".  
  
Mystique, Ororo and Jason had wandered off, eggs in hand, to a small penned area where baby rabbits hopped around, nibbling on some grass that had been dropped in.  
  
"Awwwwww", said Ororo, "Look at the bunnies!. Come here, Forge, come see the bunnies!".  
  
"I...think i'll wait...right here", said Forge with a nervous laugh, not moving from the door.  
  
The three looked at him, then at the rabbits, then back at Forge again.  
  
"Wait....are you afraid..of little bunny rabbits?", said Jason, arching an eyebrow.  
  
"I'm not afraid of them!", defended Forge, "they just...wig me out..okay?".  
  
"LITTLE BUNNIES?!", said Mystique, "but they're harmless!".  
  
"No they're not!", said Forge, "when i was three, one of those things tried to eat my hair!".  
  
"Twenty years of solitude doesn't phase him, but one little bunny rabbit nibbles on his hair and he's scarred for life", said Jason dryly.  
  
"I like my hair, okay?", said Forge, "i have nice hair".  
  
There was suddenly a loud crash and everyone turned to see Logan sheepishly standing amongst a load of wreaked boxes.  
  
"Sorry", he said, "thought i saw a rat....i didn't break the egg".  
  
He held up his unharmed egg as proof.  
  
"Lets...move on shall we?", said Hank.  
  
*****  
  
The group had walked throughout the whole of the hotel, going to various areas, including a bouncy castle, which Sabertooth had popped with his claws and a sandpit, in which Mystique lost her egg and spent a few hours making everyone look frantically for it. They had eventually come to an outside park. Warren was pushing 'Cookie' on a swing, while Logan, lightening up a bit, was sliding down the slide, his egg sat on his knee. Magneto had put his egg on the merry-go-round and was using his powers to spin it around gently, telling a very bored Xavier how he used to do it with the twins. Hank had started swinging on the monkey bars, until his egg slipped though his..err..feet. Hank gave a yelp, leaping off the monkey bars and catching the egg before it could break, sure he fell in a crumpled heap on the floor, but the egg was safe. Jason, Ororo, Forge, Sabertooth and Mystique had decided that they'd had enough action and were watching quietly.  
  
"So, is it just rabbits?, or is it hares too?", asked Sabertooth, "bet Watership Down was like watchin' the Shining or something".  
  
"Can we change the subject, please?!", asked Forge.  
  
"Sure thing", said Mystique, begining to hum 'Bright Eyes'.  
  
"A pox on you, woman!", said Forge pointing at Mystique, almost dropping his egg, "okay, i wont do THAT again".  
  
"I don't think these eggs are real", stated Jason, "with all the batterings we've given them they would have broken by now. Watch this! I bet you it'll bounce!".  
  
He pomptly threw his egg on the floor. The egg didn't bounce.  
  
"Oh", said Jason, looking at the sticky mess on the floor.  
  
"I'm so very glad you're not a father", said Mystique, "oooohh, you're in trouble nooooow!".  
  
"No, i'm not", said Jason, holding out his hand and creating an illusion of the egg, "hah, that Gelder won't know the difference".  
  
"But YOU will", said Ororo, "can you live with that on your conscience?".  
  
Jason stared blankly at her.  
  
"Conscience?".  
  
"Hello, Beautifull Windrider".  
  
Ororo paused in her berating of Jason to glance up as Clint strolled over.  
  
"Hello Clint", she said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, then blinked, "oh these are my....errr Friends. This is Raven, Forge, Jason and Victor, Erik and Charles are the ones by the merry-go-round, and that's Logan, Hank and Warren".  
  
Clint gave everyone a grin.  
  
"Pleased to meet you", he said.  
  
"Everyone, this is Clint", said Ororo, proudly.  
  
There was a mixed intrest of hello's, before Clint smiled, capping his hands together.  
  
"I know", he said, "we can all go out tonight, get to know each other. I know a very fun place, not far from the hotel. You look like you all need to unwind".  
  
"They don't check the rooms while we're gone do they?", asked Warren, "y'see, i can't let them switch off the TV".  
  
Clint stared at him for a second, unblinking.  
  
"No...they don't do that here".  
  
"Good", said Warren, "then i'm in".  
  
"Good", said Clint, "i'll see you all later".  
  
He smiled giving Ororo a kiss on her hand before walking off. Ororo smiled dreamily as she watched him go, before glancing at a smirking Mystique.  
  
"You were right, he IS hot", said Mystique, "you lucky dog you".  
  
"Yes...i can't stop smiling", said Ororo, "i'm so glad you all like him".  
  
****  
  
"I don't like him".  
  
"Why? He seems okay", Warren said, rolling his eyes at his roomate, "hey, do you think the TV looks better this way?".  
  
"Warren, if you want to put the TV next to your bed, just put it there", said Forge crossing his arms, "yeah, but don't you think he's a little TOO okay?".  
  
"No", said Warren, waving him off, "now shhh or leave, i'm watching the porn".  
  
Forge muttered something in Cheyenne at Warren before leaving the room, right into a guy dressed in a bunny costume.  
  
"Aghhhhh!".  
  
The inventor turned on his heels and RAN. The guy in the costume watched this for a second before shaking his head.  
  
"Wierdos".  
  
*******  
  
Okay, for those who haven't read Sugar and Spice, Gelder was one of the counsilors in it, hence why her name sounded familiar to Chuck. She's not that important, just thought it would be fun if a recognised character popped up randomly. Where are the group going for some fun? Wait and see! Ia alchohol involved? Isn't it always? Do review. Until next time... 


	6. A Heavenly Hell

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "It's my party and I'll die if I want to, die if I want to".  
  
*** Sashi - Yes, i was wondering when someone could pick up on that. You win a Todd Fan prize of..err..thin air. But it's really GOOD thin air.  
  
Man, i have had TONS of requests for people wanting to see Forge sleep- invent, well you shall get your wishes, not in this chapter, but soon, i promise.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 6 - A heavenly hell  
  
****  
  
Everyone looked around the nightclub that Clint had taken them to...or rather stood at the door and gawped. A disco ball hung from the ceiling over a light-up squared dance floor. 'Tiger Feet' was happily playing over the speakers. The place was appropriately named '70's world'. Hank was the first to speak.  
  
"Woah", he said, before looking at Forge, "it's like the Mothership is calling you home".  
  
"So, the guy found my ideal pad", said Forge, crossing his arms, "i still don't like him".  
  
"Look at you, all jealous", said Mystique, punching Forge in the arm.  
  
"Ok, oww", said Forge, giving her a glare, "besides..i'm not jealous".  
  
Mystique rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, right, he's jealous, isn't he Warren?".  
  
Warren hadn't heard her, he was muttering quietly to himself.  
  
"Oh i hope the sitter remembered to give Cookie a bed-time story", he said, "she won't sleep without one".  
  
"You are developing a rather...unhealthy relationship with that egg, Warren", said Hank, "we handed our eggs in this evening, you don't have to take care of it anymore".  
  
"SHE not IT", corrected Warren, "and i can't just abandon her..what if they make her into an egg salad?....oh no, i hope the sitter doesn't turn off the porn, i know Cookie's young, but still..i need that porn".  
  
"What scares me is that he found a sitter who babysit an egg", said Logan, blinking.  
  
"People will do anything if you pay them enough", said Warren with a shrug, "oh i hope she gets put in a soft place, so she doesn't break".  
  
"Will you shut up you...porn-watching egg-loving freak", said Jason, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh let him keep the damn egg", snapped Xavier, he was wishing he'd never decided to come here now, what was he thinking?, "lets just find a table".  
  
Nodding in agreement, everyone started forward..that is until a large burly bouncer in his late twenties appeared from where he had been watching the group.  
  
"No minors", he said, pointing a finger at Forge, "we only allow people over 21 here".  
  
"But i AM over 21!", said Forge indignantly, "i'm older than YOU. Look at my drivers lisence!"  
  
The bouncer looked at the card in front of him, yeah the faces matched, but the date was...he blinked.  
  
"Err.....ok", he said, waving them in, unsure of any other way to handle the situtation.  
  
"Man, i'm NEVER gonna get tired of seein' that", said Logan.  
  
*****  
  
After an hour, everyone had settled into the nostalgic atmosphere, even Warren, who hadn't even existed in the 70's found this place entertaining....though he occasionally worried about Cookie. Sabertooth had taken off to the dance floor, and was quite happily dancing the funky chicken with girl in a jumpsuit.  
  
"Remind me again what i ever saw in him...i forget", said Mystique, shaking her head, before glancing over at Forge, who was staring into his drink sadly, "what's wrong with YOU? This place is Forge-heaven, and you're the only one not having fun".  
  
"I'm having lots of fun", said Forge, dryly, "whoop de do".  
  
"Will you stop that?", snapped Magneto, "you're making ME depressed. And i have no need to depressed, i'm not suffering for the green ey.."  
  
"I'm NOT jealous", cut in Forge, "i just don't like Cliff, okay?".  
  
"His name's Clint", put in Logan.  
  
"Whatever", said Forge with a wave of his hand, "let's face it, my day couldn't possibly get any worse...".  
  
"Helllllo everybody, Amber is here!", said a woman in a VERY nasal voice as she entered the club.  
  
Forge suddenly paled considerably and his eyes widened.  
  
"Oh dear lord, NO!".  
  
He glanced over his shoulder to confirm his fear before squeaking in sheer terror and diving under the table. The occupants around the table blinked, before looking at the newcommer. A larger-than-life woman wearing a shellsuit and platform shoes, and a pukka shell necklace strolled into the main area, the crowds cheering, she was obviously a regular. Hank blinked, looking under the table at Forge, who was curled up into a ball with his eyes screwed shut, attempting to be invisible.  
  
"...Forge?", he said, "who is she to strike fear into your heart like that?"  
  
"Somone i knew i high school", said Forge, "oh God, the nightmares!".  
  
Jason blinked, looking at the woman, then back at Forge.  
  
"She dated you, didn't she?".  
  
"I wouldn't say dating as much as i'd say...stalking", said Forge, "she used to hang around my lab all the time..don't let her see me, she doesn't know i'm back!".  
  
Amber meanwhile had walked over to where Warren was sitting, giving him a grin.  
  
"Well helllooo there Babe!", she said, giving him a flirtatious wink, "save a dance for me, bet those wings make you gracefull".  
  
"Errr....ok", said Angel, blinking.  
  
"Thanks, you're a doll!", said Amber, blowing him a kiss before walking off.  
  
"She's gone", said Mystique, "you can come out now".  
  
Forge poked his head out from under the table shaking his head.  
  
"I can't let her see me", he said, "and i can't keep diving under the table all night".  
  
He blinked, as an idea formed into his mind, before grabbing the front of Jasons shirt.  
  
"Please please please please PLEASE make me invisble!", he said, "please, i'm BEGGING you here, man!".  
  
Jason blinked, before shrugging.  
  
"Nah".  
  
Forge gave a small whimper, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh come on, PLEASE!", he said, "i'll build you anything..i'll..i'll i'll fix your car for free!!! Give it a full tune up and everything!".  
  
"I don't have a car", said Jason flatly.  
  
"Then i'll build you one", said Forge, "oh have a heart!!".  
  
"Fine", said Jason with a frustrated sigh, "but it better be a good car".  
  
His eyes glowed dimly, becoming ever so much more obvious in the darker nightclub.  
  
"Oh great, it's like sitting next to a giant glow-in-the-dark toy", muttered Hank, "wait....i can still see him".  
  
"You think i'm going to all the trouble to make him inivisible to EVERYONE?", said Jason, "i don't want a headache, thank you. Only that creepy Amber girl won't be able to see him".  
  
"Thank you man", said Forge, "you are one groovy dude".  
  
"Yeah, whatever", said Jason, "just don't walk any further than outside and you'll stay in my illusion".  
  
Forge grinned, sitting down, deciding to enjoy the night.  
  
*****  
  
"There must be an Angeeeellll playing with my heart!".  
  
Warren winced as Amber hit a new decibelle on the Kareoke, NOW he knew why Forge had wanted to hide from this woman. But HE wouldn't go as low as to beg Mastermind for inivisiblity...bribeing on the other hand....  
  
"Eight thousand, and that's my final offer!", said Warren, "oh come on, you've helped Forge for less!".  
  
"No"  
  
"Why not?!!!".  
  
"If i were to make you invisible", said Jason calmly, "then she would still know of your existance and would look for you. I'd have to alter her memories, which i don't like doing, it's messy and it gives me a headache...plus i'd have to let Forge come back into vis...".  
  
"It's not happening!", said Forge quickly, "you'll just have to suffer her like i did in the 70's".  
  
"Lucky me", muttered Warren, shuddering as Amber trotted over.  
  
"Well there you are!", she said, "i was lookng alllllll over for you Warren".  
  
"You were?", said Warren, "well...you found me...whoopie".  
  
Amber grinned over at the others.  
  
"Hi", she said, grinning at Jason, "glow-in-the-dark contacts, so cool!".  
  
She grinned again, before flinging an arm around Warren's shoulders.  
  
"So, you still owe me a dance, babe", she said, trailing a finger under his chin.  
  
Warren. Hit. Rock. Bottom.  
  
"Forge is here!!!", he shouted, "you remember Forge, right? Well he's been hiding here, SUPRISE!!!".  
  
Warren gave Jason a huge thwak upside the head, knocking him off his chair and breaking his concentration.  
  
"Nark", said Forge as he came into Amber's view.  
  
Amber squealed happily, jumping from foot to foot.  
  
"Forge?!!!!. Mah gawwwwd where have you beeen?", she asked.  
  
"My first guess would have been hell.....but this is much worse", replied Forge with a nervous chuckle.  
  
"Hhehhehehehehhehehhehe", laughed Amber, smacking his shoulder, "you always were a kidder!. You don't look a DAY older than i first met you. What IS your secret?".  
  
"Being locked in a pocket dimension?".  
  
"Awww that Far Out gadget you made?", she said, "wow...didn't think it would work".  
  
"Yeah, well it did", said Forge, "....And now i wish i was dead".  
  
"Heh heh", said Warren, "and now she's not interested in me anymore".  
  
He turned around to see a very very not too happy Jason getting up.  
  
"And now i run", said Warren, getting up and heading to run, only to find himself in a bird cage, surrounded by blackness, "awww....damn!".  
  
*****  
  
A little while later, time had gone on, Amber, after grabbing Forge's phone number AND hotel room number had gone off home.  
  
"This has not been a good day for you..has it?", asked Xavier as Forge sat by the table with a sigh.  
  
"No, no it hasn't. I'm going to...", Forge trailed off, watching Clint snuggle up to Ororo, "...go get drunk".  
  
With that, he got back up and slumped over to the bar. Warren meanwhile, had started to spin around in circles, whimpering from time to time.  
  
"Are you STILL mad at him?", asked Logan pointing at Angel.  
  
"I don't appricate people knocking me to the ground", said Jason, "besides, it's better than what you'd have done to him".  
  
"That's...that's true", said Logan, "he would have been missin' a few flight feathers".  
  
"Shame on you all", said Hank, "Forge is depressed, and we're letting him down his sorrows. We should be good friends and go talk to him....what's that Raven?, you volunteer? How kind".  
  
"I didn't say a thing!", said Mystique, slamming her beer bottle down, "fine, but i'm not going alone".  
  
Everyone looked at Xavier.  
  
"No way!", said Xavier, "i'm sick to death of being an agony uncle! I have to deal with this from teenagers twenty-four-seven. I'm having a break".  
  
"Oh for the love of pete, i'll go", said Hank walking over with Mystique to where Forge was sat on a bar stool, gazing sadly into a shot glass.  
  
"Cheer up", said Beast, "no need to be blue".  
  
Mystique gave him a flat look.  
  
"Har de har har", she said, then paused, "wow...there are a whole lot of blue mutants around...i never stopped to hink about it and...i'm straying off the topic. It's a fad, a phase, he's just a...hot..very hot holiday guy"  
  
"I'm not jealous".  
  
"Oh cut the crap", said Hank, "you hate his guts, admit it!".  
  
"Ok, i hate his guts", said Forge before sighing, "Clint!. How am i supposed to compete with a Clint!".  
  
Mystique and Hank exchanged a look, both shrugging.  
  
"Maybe we should just wait until we all get home, then try this again", said Mystique, groaning as Sabertooth danced past them, "can i make it so i was never involved with him in any way?"  
  
*****  
  
Later on at night, everyone had retired to the hotel rooms. Forge sighed, he was tired. He'd had a long, long day and all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a few precious hours before they were all dragged out to thier classes...no such luck. He glanced down at an object that was nestled happily in HIS bed.  
  
"Warren, get the egg out of my bed, now", he said, with a level, calm voice with was almost frightening.  
  
"Cookie is taking HER nap", said Warren.  
  
"Cookie better get out of my bed before i throw IT out of the window", said Forge, "or maybe i should just drill it open".  
  
As if to prove a point, he truned his binoic arm into the drill and whirred it meanacingly. Warren gave a squeak of terror, grabbing the egg and cradling it in his arms. He gave Forge a look which shot daggers before placing the egg in the tissue box on his bedside cabinet. Forge sighed, flopping down on his bed, putting the pillows over his head in a vain attempt to drown out the porn...he really needed a saner roomate  
  
****  
  
There we go, that chpater was longer than usual, wasn't it? Ahh well, do review. Extra juicy Todd Fan thin air for those who guess who was my inspiration for Amber. C'mon, it's easy! Until next time.... 


	7. The Box

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You vindictive sack of silicone!"  
  
*****  
  
Okay no one actually go the answer dead on for Amber but those who hovered around friends (and actually pointed out she character minus the name) were: Raze, DragonBlond and Duskdweller. She is based on Janice from Friends. Oh my gawwd!  
  
----  
  
Thanks to good 'ol Shel for the name of Hank's lady friend, see, told ya i'd use her. Thanks also goes to my little brother, who helped me come up with some objects for the characters to pick up, he is quite usefull for random things like that.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 7 - The Box  
  
****  
  
"Rise and shine, it's a WONDERFULL morning!".  
  
Jason lifted his head from his pillow, one eye open, and said the only thing one could say when woken up so suddenly, and so early.  
  
"Nugh?".  
  
Suddenly, light flooded the room, causing Jason to make a hissing noise and attempt to bury himself back into the sanctuary of his covers, only to have a blue finger poke him in the head.  
  
"Come on, we have another class today, lets eat a hearty breakfast!", said Hank, cheery.  
  
Jason focused his one open eye on the clock, it was only five thirty.  
  
"G'way", he muttered, throwing a pillow on his head, "too early".  
  
"Fine, stay in bed, be hungry at class, i'll just wake someone else up", said Hank, walking out.  
  
There was the sound of the door across the hall opening, Hank singing happily, a anyoyed roar and finally the pleasing sound of SNIKT. The door opened again and closed very quickly, and the sound of someone running quickly down the hallway could be heard. Jason sighed greatfully, going back to sleep.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later, everyone had regretted ignoring Hank's morning advice, they had to RUN into their class, all half asleep and hungry. They entered the lecture room to find Hank talking to...a woman?, and not just any woman, a tall beautifull woman..and she seemed to enjoy his company.  
  
"You see that too, right?", asked Warren.  
  
"Lemmie put it this way", said Logan, "be glad ya don't have inhanced senses".  
  
"I hear that", said Sabertooth, "good lord, the pheremones".  
  
Suddenly, the woman got up, giving Hank a wave before walking off. Within a matter of seconds, the others were around him, like teenagers trying to squease out information.  
  
"Well?", said Magneto, looking at Hank.  
  
"Well what?", said Hank casually.  
  
"Who is she?", asked Storm, waving a hand to where the woman had left.  
  
"Oh, her", said Hank, a smile crossing his face, "That was Doctor Shannon Berk. We met at breakfast. She's here for a series of astro physics lectures this week. Get this, she likes Shakespeare, and Socrates, and chess and.....".  
  
"You like her", finished Mystique with a smirk, crossing her arms.  
  
Hank turned slightly indigo and cleared his throat.  
  
"It is just a meeting of common loves and minds", he said, "we enjoy each others company and...".  
  
"You soooooo like her", said Warren.  
  
"I..well..maybe..a little", said Hank, "but that has nothing to do with it".  
  
"Hank's got a giiirrrlfriiieeend", sang Magneto, before blinking, "sorry..i don't do well on an empty stomach".  
  
"Oh Fooooooorrrrgggeeyyyyyyyy"  
  
Forge groaned, shaking his head.  
  
"This is high school all over again", he said as Amber ran over, "..hello Amber, you vile creature of the underworld".  
  
"Good morning Forgeykins", said Amber, giving him a hug, either not hearing, or chosing not to hear his comment, "isn't it a wonderfull day?".  
  
"Until you showed up".  
  
"Hhehhehehehhehehhehhehheh", said Amber, "so once you have done with your class, how about we go for a picnic?".  
  
"I would rather jab a lemon juice-covered needle into my eyeball", replied Forge.  
  
"Isn't he hilarious?", said Amber snorting.  
  
"Oh yes, so very very funny", said Xavier, feeling more than a little sorry for Forge.  
  
"So i'll see yoooouu after class", said Amber, poking Forge in the chest.  
  
"No, you won't", said Forge, "you won't see me ever again because i will be avoiding you".  
  
"And we'll have a great time".  
  
"Go, leave, don't come back".  
  
"See you theeennnn", said Amber trotting off.  
  
"Fall off a cliiiiiffff", said Forge, crossing his arms, giving a giggling Sabertooth a glare, "oh lets just get this class over with".  
  
"Whatever ya say...Forgeykins", said Sabertooth, making the rest of the group burst out laughing.  
  
"You're all going to Hell", said Forge simply as he walked into the class.  
  
***  
  
A while later, everyone was staring at their new assignment.It was a box in the middle of the room, nothing more, nothing less. The room had been split into their 'groups' as before, leaving the mutants all alone with the box.  
  
"Well...it's a box", said Xavier, eyeing it.  
  
Gelder stepped up cheerfully.  
  
"Inside this box are lots and lots of little items", she said, "before you can know your student, you must know yourself. I want each of you to close your eyes, reach in, grab an item, then tell us how it can relate to anything in your life".  
  
"Oh...goodie", said Logan.  
  
Gelder smiled sweetly.  
  
"Now we shall go in alphabetical order..."  
  
"YES!", said Xavier.  
  
"..By first name", finished Gelder.  
  
"Aww...crud", said Xavier.  
  
"I'm bringing up the rear either way", said Warren smugly.  
  
"Charles, you're up first", said Gelder.  
  
"Rub it in", muttered Xavier, wheeling up to the box, closing his eyes and jabbing his hand in, bringing out a little pushbike toy.  
  
"Right then Charles", said Gelder, "can you think of something in your life that this can relate to?".  
  
"Actually...yes", said Xavier, "when i was eight, i had this really cool bike, and Cain smashed it into a wall...i missed that bike...that was the last bike i ever rode".  
  
Xavier gave a soft whimper. The others blinked, if the box did that to Xavier, what would it do to THEM?.  
  
"I could..build you a bike", said Forge, in an attempt to calm the telepath down, "one that you could use. I could stick an engine on it and everything".  
  
"Really?", asked Xavier, looking like a kid who had been promised a pony for Christmas.  
  
"Sure", said Forge with a shrug, before squeaking as Xavier hugged his head.  
  
"Ok, we're having a real growing process", said Gelder, looking at her checkboard, "Erik, you're next".  
  
Magneto grumbled to himself, closing his eyes and pulling out a magnet.  
  
"My powers, story done", he said, simply, putting the magnet to one side and sitting down.  
  
"That's....all?", asked Gelder.  
  
Magneto pondered this.  
  
"Yes".  
  
"Oh", said Gelder, looking at her check board, squinting at it, "is that your name? Forge?".  
  
"What's wrong with my name?", asked Forge.  
  
"Well it's just a little..."  
  
"A little what?".  
  
"Nothing", said Gelder with a nervous laugh, "go ahead".  
  
Forge gave her a long, slow glare before pulling out an eagle. Forge blinked at it, then sighed.  
  
"That was a sigh!", said Mystique, jumping up from her seat and pointing at Forge, "it means something, please say it's more than a stupid bike".  
  
"I LOVED that bike", said Xavier.  
  
"It's my spirit animal", said Forge simply, putting the eagle down on the table and going to sit down.  
  
"Your spirit animal?", prompted Gelder.  
  
"Like a star sign, only not based on the day you were born", said Forge, "the eagle stands for illumination of spirit, healing and creation. Can i stop now? It's a touchy subject".  
  
But this was what Gelder had wanted, she wanted them to get in touch with themselves, and she wasn't going to back down that easily.  
  
"A touchy subject?", she asked, "do you have any shame for your heritage?".  
  
Forge gave her a glare that could had melted an iceberg.  
  
"I'm proud of it", he said, "but i don't want to talk about it. End of story".  
  
Gelder sighed, realising she wasn't going to get anywhere, and so pointed at her clipboard.  
  
"Okay, Hank, you're next".  
  
Hank smiled happily, reaching in and pulling out a My Pet Monster. He blinked at it.  
  
"That isn't funny".  
  
"Can it relate to you in any way?", asked Gelder.  
  
Hank gave her a flat look.  
  
"Look at me, what do YOU think?", he said, putting the toy down and crossing his arms moodily, "fine. It shows my inner beast trying to claw its way out of my mind, happy?".  
  
Gelder gluped and nodded.  
  
"Jason?".  
  
Jason closed his eyes, pulling out a troll.  
  
"Sorry", he said, "i...can't think of anything".  
  
"I does...look like you", said Magneto, cocking his head to the side and chuckling, "if we dyed you hair pink and put some hair-spray in it....".  
  
"You are NOT touching my hair", said Jason, scowling and sitting down, "this is a stupid class".  
  
Gelder chuckled slightly at this, then rememberd she was supposed to be a professional.  
  
"Logan?", she said, "you're turn".  
  
"Nah", said Logan, "i think i'll pass".  
  
"Logan, it isn't a choice", said Gelder, "just pick up an object..please".  
  
Logan, grumbling all the way, reaching in and pulled out a small oriental fan.  
  
"Yuriko", he said, sniffling, "see, now you've made me depressed!. I'm going to...slash something up!".  
  
He dumped the fan on the table and stormed off.  
  
"Oh", said Gelder, "will he be okay?".  
  
"Sure he will", said Xavier, "he'll just go kill something and he'll be fine".  
  
Gelder paled before clearing her throat.  
  
"Ororo, it's your turn",  
  
Storm pulled out a hosepipe, looking at it in disgust.  
  
"Something i will never need to use", she said, sitting down.  
  
"I want to get this over with", snapped Mystique, reaching in and pulling out a blue crayon, she stared at it, glancing at Sabertooth, who made a soft whimper, "oh..it's a blue crayon".  
  
Mystique sat down and started to sob.  
  
"Graydon had one of these when he was a baby", she chocked out, her voice going higher all the time, "he put it all over his face...so he could look like his mommy"  
  
"Don't you start cryin'", said Sabertooth, "'cause then i'll start cryin'".  
  
Gelder started to panic, this wasn't going well.  
  
"Why don't you pick something out Victor?".  
  
Sabertooth did, it was a pink cuddly bunny.  
  
"RABBIT!", shouted Forge, diving behind Hank.  
  
Sabertooth looked at the toy. He had already had an emotional moment today, this was one to many. He started to snob, cuddling the object close to him and rocking it.  
  
"Snugglebunny!".  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
"....Snugglebunny?", asked Magneto.  
  
"I had a toy just like this when i was a kid", whimpered Sabertooth, "my dad tossed him inta the basement one day, and he was my only toy....i miss Snugglebunny".  
  
"You can...take that one home if you like", tried Gelder.  
  
Sabertooth sniffled and nodded, "thank you".  
  
"You'd better keep that thing away from me", said Forge, keeping his distance from both Sabertooth and the toy rabbit.  
  
"Warren, you're turn", said Gelder.  
  
Warren reached in, and pulled out an egg, staring at it in shock.  
  
"Cookie?", he said, "how did you get here?".  
  
He rounded on Gelder.  
  
"You STOLE Cookie from my room!".  
  
"We haven't been near your room Warren, honest", said Gelder, "that is just an egg".  
  
"Don't listen to her Cookie", said Warren, covering the eggs 'ears', "come on, let me take you back to bed".  
  
Gelder sighed as he left, then looked at the dmaged left by the box...nevr ever again, she would have to make a note that this was a bad idea...best leave it to mental insitiutions.  
  
****  
  
There we go, another one down. It took me ages until i was happy enough for this to go up, maybe it's just me. Next time will be ALOT more fun, i guarentee it. In case you're wondering My Pet Monster was a cuddly toy in the 80's, he was a monster (obviously) and was furry and had little handcuff with could be broken and put back together, i loved mine to pieces. Please review. Until next time... 


	8. The Customary abuse of alcohol

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Don't talk to me. You scare the hell out of me".  
  
***  
  
Hellooo my reviewers. Right, i know i put Yuriko, he ha s a reason to be teary over her, but he wont reveal why, whoahahahhaa. Kurt-Ling, Graydon is Graydon Creed, Mystique and Sabertooth's son, he was in the comics. *Dances at the prospect of a Red Witch Parody* Whoooo!  
  
****  
  
Chapter 8 - The customary abuse of alcohol  
  
****  
  
Once again, another day drew to a close, giving way for evening. Hank had gone off, saying he was having dinner with Shannon and it was NOT a date. Forge had managed to avoid the 'Picnic with the Hellbeast' by hiding behind a statue for three hours. Ororo was moping around, as Clint had a nightclass to teach and so she wouldn't see him until morning.  
  
"I know", said Mystique, smiling at her, "lets have a girls night in, just you and me".  
  
"Oh..i don't know...", said Storm.  
  
"Come on", said Mystique, "it'll be fun. We can watch movies on Warrens credit and moan about how usless men are".  
  
Ororo considered this.  
  
"Okay", she said cheerfully, what harm could it do?".  
  
Famous. Last. Words.  
  
*****  
  
Warren smiled as he entered his room, carrying 'Cookie'. How DARE they try to take her from him!. He paused, seeing Cookie sitting on the bed, watching porn. He looked down at the egg in his hand.  
  
"Oh", he said, before smiling, "Cookie, meet you new baby brother, Candy!".  
  
With that, he placed both eggs into a shoe box filled with hotel towels (which incidentally he had stolen from all of his 'friends' bathrooms) and cooed at them for a while.  
  
"Nice and safe in your nest", he said,tickling them.  
  
Forge watched this for a second, blinking slowly. It took another moment of thought before he slowly and wisely backed out of the room, leaving Warren to brood over his eggs.  
  
***  
  
"The girls have been in there for a very very long time", said Magneto, looking at the girls' door a few hours later.  
  
"Perhaps one of us better go inside and...see if they are ok", said Xavier, then saw everyone looking at him, "not ME! I mean we draw straws".  
  
"No, no straws! The straws hate me", said Logan, shaking his head violently, "the straws had me stuck in that damn honeymoon suite with butt- face here".  
  
"At least i don't sing Cher songs in my sleep", snapped Sabertooth.  
  
"No, you PURR!", retorted Logan.  
  
"Guys, lets just get this over with", said Warren, "i can't leave Cookie, Candy and the porn unattended for long".  
  
Magneto muttered to himself, pulling the sacred decision making straws out of his pocket. Each guy plucked out a straw.  
  
"Bummer", said Forge, looking at the tiny straw in his hand.  
  
"The curse has been lifted and passed on!", said Logan, doing a happy dance, before patting Forge on the back, "God speed Gear-Head".  
  
"Can i change my straw of choice?", asked Forge hopefully.  
  
He was answered by being shoved backwards through the door of the girls room, the door slamming shut in front of him.  
  
"Think he'll be okay?", asked Jason.  
  
"If he isn't", said Sabertooth, "i have dibs on his mood ring".  
  
***  
  
Forge winced as the door slammed shut in front of him, trapping him with possibly two of the most dangerous women on the planet...lucky him. He turned around to find Mystique and Storm sitting on the floor, surrounded by little alcohol bottles....empty little alcohol bottles....LOTS of empty little alcohol bottles.  
  
"This isn't what i though you meant when you said 'girls night in'", he said, looking at the mess.  
  
"Hey look, it's Forge!", slurred Mystique waving at him from the floor, "hi Forge!".  
  
"Would you like a drink?", asked Storm, crawling around on her hands and knees, sifting through the empty bottles, "i'm sure there's a full one here somewhere....".  
  
"You know what?, i'm good", said Forge, "i think we better get you guys some coffee before Charles sees you. Man, did you drink your entire mini- bar?".  
  
"No!", said Mystique, waving around her general area, "this isn't all our mini-bar".  
  
"Oh...good", said Forge.  
  
"We ran out of OUR mini-bar ages ago", said Ororo, "so we went across the hall and took all of Logan and Sabertooth's!".  
  
"Oh", said Forge, "....not good".  
  
He backed away slightly as Mystique got up and half-fell, half-walked over to him, throwing and arm around his shoulder. She got within inches of his face, close enough for Forge to realise that she had drunk the majority of the alcohol before she poked him on the nose.  
  
"You have 'beu-tiif-lle brown eyes", she slurred.  
  
"Err....thank you?".  
  
Mystique laughed insanely, skipping around the room, then sitting on the bed and patting the side smiling suggestively.  
  
"Come to bed, Forge", she cooed, then jerked her head to Ororo, "don't mind her, she likes to watch...maybe she'll join in..."  
  
Forge glanced between the two women....the two beautifull women offering a night of... He blinked, snapping himself out of the inner guy mind. No, one of them would end up regretting it....most probably him.  
  
"I'm getting you both some coffee", he said, "stay here".  
  
"Aye aye captain!", said Ororo with a over-done salute.  
  
Mystique answered by making a strange snorting noise and falling off the bed with a thump....Forge made a mental note to remember this in detail and relay it to both telepaths for the duration of this terrible slip for relaity they dared call a 'trip'..  
  
******  
  
Hank was enojoying his dinner with Shannon. The others were wrong, this wasn't a date. This was a meal between like-minded people who shared the same intrests. Yup, that was all...yup. So, she was stunningly beautifull, and had not run away screaming about the fact she was speaking to someone that looked like a cast extra for the Addams Family. It didn't make this a date...nope. A little friendly flirting was going on, but that didn't make it a date. This was perfectly inocent...yup.  
  
~Hank~  
  
Damn it. Interupting his date....DAMN IT! Not a date, not a date!  
  
~Yes Charles?~  
  
~Just to let you know, Forge escaped from the girls' room, they are quite..ahem..intoxicated~  
  
Hank, nodded, trying to listen to both Shannon and 'speak' to Xavier at the same time, it wasn't easy.  
  
~How drunk?~, he asked.  
  
~You don't want to know the images i got from that poor Inventors head. Anyway, just keep a look out, and don't go near the room, let Forge handle it....i want to get him back for the time he 'fixed' the mansion secuirty~  
  
Hank remembered that, they were locked out of their own home for three hours while burning vulture robots of death swopped around the grounds....it was not a happy day.  
  
~You are quite evil, Charles~  
  
~I know. Whoahahhahahahhahahahaha~  
  
Hank blinked as the pysi-link broke, giving an invountary shudder, returning his mind back to the conversation he was having with Shannon.  
  
"Your friends seem fascinating", continued Shannon, unaware of the other conversation Hank had just been in, "you'll have to introduce me to them".  
  
Perish the thought.  
  
"Yes...i will", Hank lied.  
  
Suddenly, as if on cue, Forge ran past, not noticing either person. He skidded to a halt at a coffee machine and threw in about five dollars worth of loose change. He ran past again with at least seven cups of coffee in his arms, once again, not seeing them, he looked quite stressed. Hank felt a small twinge of sympathy, then remembered his burn marks and gave a small chuckle.  
  
"Isn't that one of them?", asked Shannon, pointing at the retreating Forge.  
  
"No", Hank lied again, "never seen him before in my life".  
  
***  
  
Forge re-entered the girls' rooom, carrying an armfull of styrofoam coffee cups.  
  
"Okay, here we....are?"  
  
He blinked, looking around the room Storm was trying to balance a spoon on her nose....but Mystique was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Where did Mystique go?", he asked, making Storm lose her conentration, the spoon falling to the ground with a 'plink' sound.  
  
Ororo blinked and cocked her head to the side, as if she was hearing the name for the first time.  
  
"Mystique?".  
  
"Yeah, you know, blue-skinned shapeshifter?", prompted Forge, "your drinking partner as of two hours ago?".  
  
Storm walked forward and squinted at Forge.  
  
"It that you Raven?".  
  
"No, i'm Forge!".  
  
"Suuuuurrre you are!", said Storm, giving him a wink, before clapping happily, "hey, lets go watch Warren's free porn!".  
  
"I've got a better idea, lets drink lots of caffene and get sober!", said Forge, holding up a coffee cup.  
  
"I am drunk not that drink", replied Storm, crossing her arms, before giggling and spinning around in circles, "this is fun".  
  
~Chaarrrllles~, sent out Forge with a nervous chuckle, ~we have a problleeem~  
  
~What? Did one of them pass out?~, sent back Xavier, a hint of hope in his..err..voice.  
  
~No...it appears Mystique has kinda....booked outta here~  
  
There was a telepathic sigh.  
  
~You couldn't watch both women at the same time?~  
  
~I'm sorry~, sent Forge back dryly, ~You must have me confused with Super Forge~  
  
~Okay. Keep an eye on Ororo. I'll send the others to find Mystique. How we are going to find a shapeshifter is beyond me...~  
  
Xavier broke the psyi-link, muttering as he went. Forge sighed, glancing at Ororo as she made little rain clouds around the room...this wasn't going to be fun.  
  
****  
  
Another chapter down. There is a very good reason why Mystique is the one that escaped, i want to do something to her, something funny and cruel, though Mystique had orignally been the one to stay behind. *Shrugs* you'll understand why i changed it when the time comes....in the next chapter. Whoahahhahahaha!. Do review, until next time... 


	9. Of assasins and alcohol

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "We're scared like rats...with no hair, and one leg".  
  
***  
  
Hi ho my reviewers. Astriea, don't worry, i haven't forgotten Forge sleep inventing, it will happen soon, only not for this 'night', but the next one, ooooh yeah!. Thanks to jacksgurl for helping me out when i couldn't figure out a conversation that Hank and Mags could have :)  
  
***  
  
Chapter 9 - Of assasins and alcohol  
  
***  
  
Sabertooth had been sitting in the bar, pondering on ways he could stop Logan singing in his sleep. He'd chosen to ignore Charles telepathic message completely, putting up a mental block before the man had finished 'speaking' his name.  
  
"Heellllllllloooooo Viccy!!!!".  
  
He blinked, then looked down at the glass in his hands, voices? he hadn't drunk THAT much. Suddenly, something latched onto his back. He gave a snarl and instinctively went to spin off the threat, holding a claw to...Mystique's thoat! What the hell?  
  
"Hi Viccy!", said Mystique, moving the clawed finger and giving Sabertooth a hug, "remember when we were together? Wasn't that fun?".  
  
"No, it was a living hell", said Sabertooth, cocking his head to the side and sniffing, "Raven, have you been drinking?".  
  
"A teensy, winnsy, itsy, bitsy, tiny, little bit!", said Mystique, pinching her thumb and forefinger together and squinting at the gap she had made.  
  
"Oh...boy", he said, "ya know ya shouldn't have any alcohol, Raven, it messes ya up".  
  
Mystique looked at him and sighed, ignoring his comment and resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Do you remember when you said you loved me?", she asked, twirling a finger around in his hair.  
  
Sabertooth stared at her as if she had grown an extra eyeball on her forehead.  
  
"Do you remember when you tried ta steam my face with an iron?", he replied.  
  
Mystique giggled at this, snuggling up to him.  
  
"Fun times", she sighed, ignoring the fact that Sabertooth was trying to pry himself from her grasp, "Join me for a *hic* drink, Vic?".  
  
Sabertooth glanced at his arm, the only was he was going to get out of this was to chew it off. As tempted as he was to do that, his healing factor would seal it up before he finished...that could have messy side effects. He gave a sigh, he was stuck.  
  
"Oh, what the hell, what could it hurt?".  
  
****  
  
Forge wasn't having much luck with Storm, either. She had been skipping around happily for the past hour, and was showing no signs of settling down. She stopped when she noticed the rooms phone.  
  
"I KNOW!", she said happily, "Let's call home!".  
  
Before Forge could respond, she picked up the phone and dailed a number, and waited until it was picked up.  
  
"Hello?", came the voice of John on the other end.  
  
Storm stiffled a giggle.  
  
"Hello John, i am WATCHING you!", she said into the phone.  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"....Who's watching me?".  
  
Storm waited for a few seconds for effect.  
  
"It is ME, John", she said, her voice taking on one that you would expect from Norman Bates.  
  
"Oh my God!. I KNEW you'd find me!!".  
  
It was then that the sound of scuffling could be heard and a Cajun voice took the place of the Austrailian one.  
  
"Remy don't know who you are dat keeps calling dis number, but you can just stop it now!".  
  
With that, the phone was slammed down, causing Storm to burst into laughter.  
  
"I know!", she said, "lets call the police!".  
  
"NO!", said Forge, taking the phone away from her, "i don't want to be arrested today, thank you".  
  
Storm pouted.  
  
"Awwww you're no fun, you big, old meanie!!!", she said.  
  
"I'm not old, i'm not big and i'm not a meanie", said Forge calmly.  
  
"You are older than me", put in Storm  
  
"By THREE years!".  
  
"Older is older, so HAH!", said Storm, sticking out her tounge.  
  
"So, doesn't mean i'm old", said Forge, he was starting to get a headache.  
  
"Name four characters of Happy Days", said Storm, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Fonzie, Chachie, Joanie and Richie....hey, that wasn't fair!", Forge crossed his arms, "jive turkey".  
  
Storm blew a rasberry before prancing over to the TV.  
  
"I'm going to order Titanic!", she said, pleased with herself, "have you ever seen that?"  
  
"No", said Forge, dryly, "unfortunately, Middleverse didn't have a Miultiplex Odeon".  
  
****  
  
"So, you pick her up yet?".  
  
Jason sighed as Logan broke his conentration...again.  
  
"I'm not as good a telepath as Xavier", he said, "i do the whole illusion thing, your nose would be better use".  
  
"She's too inhanced for my nose", muttered Logan, "....we're not going to find her...are we?".  
  
"Would it be a big loss?", asked Warren, walking between them.  
  
"She would make us regret leaving her....believe me", said Logan, shuddering, he paused, lifting his head up, "i hear her"  
  
He, Jason and Warren raced off in the direction of the sound. They stopped dead when they found the room where her voice was coming from. It was the kareoke room. Logan turned to Warren.  
  
"What do you see?"  
  
Warren squinted, glancing on the stage.  
  
"Mystqiue and Sabertooth preforming a rather terrible rendition of 'Endless Love'?".  
  
Sure enough, they were both singing at each other, for those in the room not intoxicated, this was quite a disturbing sight. Logan patted Warren on the shoulder, glad he wasn't seeing things.  
  
"Good boy".  
  
"I vote we walk away and pretend we never saw this", said Jason.  
  
"I second that", said Logan.  
  
"Third", replied Warren.  
  
Without another word, the three made an about turn and walked off.  
  
*****  
  
Hank sighed happily. He'd had a fun not-a-date with Shannon, yeah, they were going to have another not-a-date the next night. He dreamily walked off towards his room, right into Magneto on the way.  
  
"Where have YOU been?!".  
  
Hank blinked.  
  
"Eating exquisite cuisine with a pretty lady", replied Hank simply.  
  
"Well, you SHOULD be looking for Mystique with everyone else", he said, "Warren went to bed, i can hear him singing lullabys to the eggs".  
  
"That boy is...disturbed", said Hank, blinking.  
  
"So, you get to first base with her?", asked Magneto, a wry smile on his face.  
  
Hank glared at him.  
  
"None of your buisness!", he said, crossing his arms, "and besides it WAS NOT a date!".  
  
"Uh huh", said Magneto, "and one day my son will pass a mirror and not look at himself in it".  
  
*****  
  
"DON'T LET GO ROSE!!!!!".  
  
Forge blinked as he watched Storm grab onto the front of the TV screen screaming at the film. He had sat through this thing for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn't feel his legs and he was struggling to stay awake. This was worse than when his 70's time girlfriend had dragged him to watch 'Grease'. Ororo sniffled and turned off the TV, sighing, well, she certainally hadn't sobered up any, it made him wonder exactly how much alohol the girls had consumed.  
  
"Love's a funny thing, isn't it?", she said, gesturing to the screen, "they were soulmates, beat the odds then POOF, ship sinks, guy drowns, end of relationship! How sad".  
  
"My girlfriend was a crying sobbing mess for her remaining two years of high school after i....vanished", said Forge, then sighed, "...i miss her".  
  
"Thats nice, Forge", said Storm, patting him on the head before skipping around the room, "now, lets order pizza!".  
  
Humming happily, she called room service.  
  
"Yeah, a guy bears his soul, you buy pizza", muttered Forge, "God, i miss the seventies".  
  
*****  
  
Logan sighed, walking up to his room. He had not seen Mystique or Sabertooth again, and that was a good thing. He stopped dead outside his room, his hand on the door handle. He sniffed.....that didn't smell right. A giggle emulating from the room made him make an about turn, going straight into Angel and Forge's room. Warren was in his bed, snoring, the eggs in their tissue box crib on the dresser next to him.  
  
"I'm stealin' a bed", said Logan, flopping down on Forge's bed, "not like he'll be usin' it".  
  
"Grilled Cheese", replied Warren, sleepily.  
  
******  
  
Whaohahahahahahhahahahha!!!!! Such evilness, no? Giggling? Oh boy oh boy! Would you call this a cliffhanger? I don't know, but there you go. Do review. Until next time..... 


	10. 10 things i hate about you

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Never trust a beautiful woman, especially if she's interested in you".  
  
***  
  
Sorry this is so late, real life is a pain in the pattella sometimes. I saw Under Loakc and Key, whooooooo!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 10 - 10 things i hate about you  
  
***  
  
Magneto, Xavier, Jason and Hank were all sitting at the breakfast table, None knew where their companions were. Both telepaths had refused point blank to look in ANYONES heads, not after the amount of alcohol consumed, they were afraid of finding something they'd rather not know. Thankfully, it was a Sunday, the only day they got completely class-free, so their companions could just be sleeping in...hopefully. There was an anoyed grunt as Logan plonked himself down by the table, he didn't look happy.  
  
"Where've you been?", asked Hank, "i knocked on your door and got no answer!".  
  
"That's 'cause i wasn't there", said Logan gruffly, "I slept in Forge's bed last night".  
  
Everyone stared at him, wide-eyed. Logan blinked before clearling his throat and shaking his head violently.  
  
"NO! Not like that!", he said, "I was goin' back ta my room and..well...the smells that were comin' outta there..i couldn't bring myself ta go in. I was gonna ask Forge and Angel if i could sleep on their couch, but Forge wasn't in his bed, so i 'borrowed' it".  
  
"Oh", said Jason, "so...where did Forge sleep last night?"  
  
"I didn't"  
  
Forge gave a sleeply sigh and plopped down into a chair at the table.  
  
"Somone's wearing the same clothes he had on last night", said Jason, giving Forge a nudge, "get some action, Gizmo?".  
  
"If you call holding up Ororo's hair while she threw up in the toilet all night 'action', then sure", replied Forge, "lots of it".  
  
"Well, i 'aint goin' back in that honey-moon suite again", said Logan, "i'll stay put in Forge's bed".  
  
Forge looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.  
  
"Where am I supposed to sleep?".  
  
"You should have thought of that before ya left yer bed unattented", said Logan, "finders keepers, losers weepers".  
  
"I was looking after the women, like i was SUPPOSED to do!", said Forge.  
  
"Oh and you did a bang up job!", snapped Mystique, suddenly coming up behind them and giving Forge an almighty whack upside-the-head.  
  
"Ow!", said Forge, giving Mystique a death-glare while rubbing his injured head, "is it 'pick on Forge' day or something?!".  
  
Mystique made a noise which resembled a snarl and sat down, looking at Forge like she wished him to disintergrate.  
  
"I can't believe you let me get out!", she said icily, "i don't remember what i did, but i have a good idea. I haven't woken up next to Creed for a LONG time!".  
  
Everyone stared at her.  
  
"Told you so", said Logan, "the nose never lies".  
  
"Well, it's not like i had a choice", muttered Forge, "you were gone by the time i got back, and i couldn't leave Ororo on her.."  
  
"Oh screw Ororo!", snapped Mystique, "Jerk!".  
  
Forge edged away from the table ever so slightly, he had a feeling if Mystique had him on her own, he might lose another limb.  
  
"Sorry", he said weakly.  
  
He got a hiss in reply. It was then that Sabertooth walked very quietly into the room. He sat down on the table, avoiding eye-contact with anyone, especially Mystique. Everyone was quiet for a while before Sabertooth took in intake of breath, about to speak.  
  
"Not a WORD!", snapped Mystique, pointing a finger at him, "not a single solitary word!!!".  
  
Sabertooth gave off an odd whimper and scruched himself up like a puppy about to be whacked by a newspaper. He glanced around worriedly, before closing his eyes, concentrating. Xavier blinked, then sighed, handing over the coffee pot. Sabertooth gave a terrified nod of thanks, before emersing himself with making his coffee. The huge silence hit the table again, finally broken by the arrival of a very ill-looking Storm. Forge flinched automatically, expecting another assault. Storm just walked past him, ignoring his precense completely, sitting down and staring at the table. Unable to take another bout of silence, Hank started to whistle. He stopped in a heartbeat when he noticed Storm giving him a glare that would melt a iceberg.  
  
"Oh Forgeykiiiiiiiiiins", came a familar nasal voice into the room.  
  
Forge's eyes widened and he groaned, banging his head on the table. He glared accusingly at the ceiling.  
  
"What did i ever to do YOU?!", he said, "is this about the whole 'turning my back on Shamanism' thing? 'Cause the punishment doesn't fit the crime!".  
  
"THERE you are!", said Amber, running over to the group, "I've been looking allllllllll over for you!".  
  
"....And you found me", said Forge with a dry, nervous laugh, "....yippie".  
  
Amber clapped her hands and looked around.  
  
"Well doesn't everyone look happy?!!!", she said,chosing not to see the fact that Mystique's finger-nails were cutting into her bread roll,and Ororo was grinding her teeth, "so, you eaten yet, Forge?".  
  
Forge thought fast.  
  
"No", he said, "i was just about to, can't do anything on an empty stomach, you know. So...off you go".  
  
"That's good!", said Amber, "because i'm taking you to breakfast!".  
  
Forge's mouth gaped open and closed like a fish for a few seconds while he tried to register how that had backfired on him. Before he could protest, Amber had grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him away.  
  
"Wow, there IS justice!", said Mystique.  
  
"Yeah", said Sabertooth with a chuckle.  
  
"Did i SAY you could speak?!!!", snapped Mystique, "i don't think i did!!".  
  
"Gives me time to move all of my stuff inta his room", said Logan smugly.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later and he had done just that, making it extra clear that it was HIS bed now by putting a stuffed rabbit on the pillow. He raised an eyebrow as Warren watched the porn, transfixed, his eggs on either side of him.....maybe this hadn't been the best of rooms to take after all... Suddenly, Warren got up.  
  
"I'm going to get some breakfast", he announced.  
  
"It's one thirty!", said Logan.  
  
"Yes, but SOMEONE kept me awake all night singing Cher songs", said Warren irritably ruffling his feathers, "so i was too tired to get up when you did. You should see a sleep doctor, you know".  
  
"You should see a doctor, full stop", muttered Logan under his breath.  
  
Warren either didn't hear him, or chose not to hear him as he headed for the door.  
  
"Don't touch Cookie or Candy", he said ominously before leaving.  
  
"Yeah, like i'd wanna touch your stupid eggs", Logan said, cocking his head at the porn, "oh i can't stick this all the time i'm here...where's the mute button?".  
  
He searched around for the remote control, finally finding it in a tin box, under Warren's pillow. He squinted at the object in front of him, hell, only Forge could make sense of this..oh well. He pressed a button that LOOKED like mute. The TV made a funny noise and the porn switched off. Logan blinked, he pressed the button again, nothing but the weather channel. Logan gave a small whimper, panicking as he flipped through the channels, he'd lost the porn!!!  
  
"Well, DAMN!", said Logan, slamming the palm of his hand down on the table. There was a ominous crack and then a squelching sound. Logan closed his eyes, lifted his hand then opened them to see the gooey remains of one of Warren's eggs dripping off his palm.  
  
"Oh"  
  
***  
  
"Wasn't that a nice breakfast Forgey?".  
  
"Huh?".  
  
Forge had only just registered that Amber had asked him a question, he had switched his mind off two hours ago, when he non-stop chatter got too much. Afer his high school years with her, he had mastered the art of looking very attentive while his mind was somewhere much, much happier.  
  
"I said wasn't that a nice breakfast, Forgey?", repeated Amber, a little louder for his benifit. "you've been all....distant all day".  
  
"Yeah, that would come from lack of sleep", said Forge dryly.  
  
"That's nice dear", said Amber, "anyway, as i was saying, after your memorial service and..."  
  
That one sunk in.  
  
"WHOAH!", said Forge, "back up. Memorial service?".  
  
Amber paused, cocking her head to the side, suprised he had contributed to the conversation at all.  
  
"Well...yeah. You HAD vanished and,,..oh my gawwwd, you didn't know?"  
  
Forge started to feel the smallest twinge of panic rise in his stomach.  
  
"Know WHAT?!!!!".  
  
"Well, everyone thought you were kinda, sorta....dead", said Amber with a wince, "There's a memorial stone for you in Bayville cemetary, 'course your father wanted one in the Cheyenne reservation, but..."  
  
Forge blinked twice.  
  
"Everyone thinks i'm DEAD?!!!", he said.  
  
Amber crossed her arms.  
  
"People don't just vanish wihtout a trace for 20 years honey, didn't you see how upset Tyler was?"  
  
Forge paused, narrowing his eyes, twenty years of solitude hadn't done well for his memory. Amber had a point, his then-girlfriend WAS a sobbing mess of hysterics.  
  
"Yeah, but i thought she was bummed 'cause i vaished", said Forge, "not because she thought i was dead....i mean DEAD?!!!!".  
  
"You know, however many times you say it, it won't change it", said Amber patting him on the arm, "oh well. You want to go boating?".  
  
****  
  
Storm gave a contented sigh, she had spent most of the day with Clint, who had soothed her hangover and made her truly feel like a Goddess, she was once again at peace with the world. She dreamily walked past Warren and...err Logan's room not hearing the muffled shouts of panic from inside. She wandered into her own room, noting Mystique was putting a strong padlock on the now re-stocked mini-bar.  
  
"I'm NOT making the same mistake again", she said, "wait until i get that little...."  
  
"Who do you wish to kill?", asked Storm, very serenely, "Forge tried his best, he kept me safe, and you lured Victor with false pretenses, if there is anyone to blame, it is yourself".  
  
Mystique muttered under her breath, giving her room-mate a death-glare before walking back out again. Forge was passing in the hall, looking rather stunned, he didn't even flinch as she threw daggers at him, he simply turned into his own room, or rather what had BEEN his room. Logan glanced up, noticing Forge's entrance.  
  
"THANK GOD!", he shouted, bounding over, "I...i turned off the porn and i broke an egg!!!!".  
  
Forge looked at him for quite a while.  
  
"I'm dead", he replied, "deceased, have ceased to exist, have been pushed off this mortal coil!".  
  
Logan paused, considering this.  
  
"Okay...you win", he said, "but, you gotta help me, if Warren sees this....".  
  
"I'm sorry", said Forge, picking up his stuff, "this isn't my room anymore, it's your problem now....bye bye".  
  
With that, he turned around and walked out of the door, leaving Logan to stare at the pornless TV and single egg.  
  
"I'm a dead man".  
  
****  
  
A little while later, everyone, bar Warren, who was still at breakfast, despite it being five PM now,. had plonked themselves in Hank and Jason's room, which, thankfully to some 'engineering' by Forge, now had a bed....ok, so he had taken appart the couch and re-made it, he'd put it back again before they left...maybe. He was currently pacing up and down the room, talking to his mother on the phone, much to the amusement of everyone else in the room.  
  
"What do you mean 'it didn't seem like an important factor at the time', Nahko'e?", he said, "Doesn't your ONLY son have a right to know if everyone thinks he's DEAD?!!!".  
  
Forge paused, drumming his fingers on the table, before groaning.  
  
"Oh well if Naze thought i wasn't dead, then that's okay then", he said, "yeah yeah, bye bye".  
  
He clicked the phone down and banged his head on the table.  
  
"I hate my family", he said, giving the phone an accusing glare.  
  
"Yeah, well that's nothing compared to MY problems", said Logan, "i had ta go ta the adult video store, buy a porn video and keep it on constant play on the video recorder..i just hope bird boy doesn't notice...and God forbid if he sees past that stand-in egg".  
  
"I can't believe you went to the hotel kitchen and asked for an uncooked egg, still in it's shell", said Magneto, shaking his head, "you are a desperate man".  
  
As if on cue, a very confused Warren walked into the room, carrying an egg, the stand in egg.  
  
"Logan...where's the pnecil mark i put on Candy?", he asked.  
  
Logan blinked, looking around nerovusly.  
  
"It...errr..wahsed off", he said, "yeah...that's right. It washed off, when i gave ..him a bubble bath".  
  
Warren cocked his head to the side before smiling.  
  
"Oh, that's okay then", he said, "my LAST roomate never looked after the eggs,. he wasn't helpfull at all".  
  
"HE can hear every word", said Forge.  
  
Warren chose to ignore this, turning back and walking to his room.  
  
"Well", said Xavier clapping his hands together, "who's up for a few board games?!".  
  
****  
  
There is another chapter down. Incidentally, for those who are interested, probably not many, but i'm gonna tell you anyway, so NEH!. Nahko'e is Cheyenne for 'mother', i found a dictonary and Topical word list, dead chuffed with that, i am. Next time, you finally get what you asked for, Forge sleep-inventing, yeah!...Anyway, do review. Until next time... 


	11. The stork cometh

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I will be as a fly on the wall , a grain of salt in the ocean . I will slip among them like a transparent ....thing".  
  
****  
  
Hi all my loyal readers and reviewers, you shall be rewarded for reading with gifts of hatchings and sleep- inventing. Ok, the states game is nicked off Friends, i'll admit it. It was too good to pass up.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 11 - The stork cometh  
  
****  
  
The other's had finally given up on Xavier's whining and decided to play board-like games all night.  
  
"What first?", said Xavier excitedly, appearently, playing board games in large groups were a previsously unknown fetish of his.  
  
Logan raised a hand  
  
"NO!", said Mystique, "NO strip poker!".  
  
Logan looked a little downcast.  
  
"How about strip Uno?".  
  
The glare from everyone else told him enough, he mumbled to himself and looked at the ground.  
  
"Oh, i know!", said Warren, who had returned from putting the eggs to bed, "the States game!".  
  
Magneto riased an eyebrow.  
  
"The States game?".  
  
"You have to name all the States in six minutes", said Warren.  
  
"Oh please", said Hank, rolling his eyes, "anyone could do that".  
  
"Mr. Genius couldn't!", said Warren, jerking a thumb at Forge, "i tried him with it the first night, he only got 48!".  
  
"Oh give me a break!", said Forge, "it was a stupid game anyway".  
  
"Okay, fine the States game it is", said Mystqiue.  
  
Six minutes later......  
  
"Time's up!", said Warren, looking at his watch, "what have you all got?".  
  
"49", said Ororo, putting her pad down with a sigh  
  
"47", said Jason, "man, that was hard!".  
  
Evryone mumbled their scores, Magneto getting the lowest, saying that he wasn't even American, so it shouldn't count with him.  
  
"Hank?", tried Warren.  
  
Hank kept slient.  
  
"Give me a few more minutes", he said eventually.  
  
"If you haven't got tham all now, you'll never get them all", said Xavier.  
  
"NO!", snapped Hank, "i WILL do this. Forget the time limit, i'll do it!!!"  
  
Everyone backed away from Hank and watched his stomp off to a corner of the room  
  
***  
  
Warren had left the gang a few hours later in a furious game of sherades. He wanted to check on the eggs, Candy seemed off colour. He entered the room and glanced at the porn on the TV, he could have SWORN this was the same thing that was on when he left. He sighed, walking over to his 'nest'. Candy was still there, but Cookie..there was nothing but egg shells.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!".  
  
Warren shook his head. Who could assasinate an egg?. Maybe she'd been kidnapped, and the eggs shell was there as a warning?. Maybe there were thugs that had tied her to a chair holding her for randsom for his fortune. Poor Cookie.....what the hell was that strange sound sound? Warren glanced to his feet.  
  
"Cookie?".  
  
*****  
  
".....Closet case?".  
  
The others were staring at Sabertooth as he pointed to one of the the wardobes in the room. He growled, shaking his head furiously.  
  
"And this is a movie?", asked Mystqiue.  
  
Sabertooth nodded, then pointed to the wardobe again.  
  
"I know what you did last Summer!!!", shouted Magneto.  
  
Saberooth blinked at Magneto before shaking his head. He paused, scratching his chin before grinning and pointing to Forge then at the wardrobe again. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"...Wardobes and inventors?", tried Storm, "wait...that isn't a film".  
  
Sabertooth shook his head violently, with a snarl of anyoyance, he swung the closet open. He then grabbed Forge by the scruff, threw him in and closed the door, then pointed to the wardrobe again.  
  
"Inventors coming out of the closet!!!", shouted Mystique.  
  
"Hah hah hah, it is to laugh", came the muffled voice of Forge from within the wardrobe, "man, what died in here? It reeks!!!".  
  
Xavier chuckled from where he and Jason were watching Hank try to think of the States. Neither had been allowed to play this game because they could 'cheat', so they had opted to watch Hank struggle. Suddenly Logan stood up with a triumphant shout.  
  
"The Indian in the cuboard!"  
  
"THANK GOD!", said Sabertooth, "geez, you people are idiots".  
  
"We prefer the term 'Native American'", came Forge's voice from inside the wardrobe, "...can i come out now?, it's really cramped in here".  
  
"Yeah...sorry", said Sabertooth opening the door to let Forge fall out.  
  
It was then that Warren chose to walk in carrying something in his hands.  
  
"Guys", he said happily, "guess what?".  
  
"Geller died and we can all go home?", asked Logan, looking hopefull.  
  
"I don't care!", snapped Hank.  
  
Before him were scraps of paper cut out in shapes of the States of America, the whole of them together slowly making the shape of the country, only there were missing pieces. Warren chose to ignore this before happily holding Cookie for all to see as she wiggled in his hands.  
  
"Cookie hatched!".  
  
Everyone looked at Cookie, then at Warren, then back at Cookie again.  
  
"Warren....", said Magneto carefully, "that's..that's an Aligator".  
  
Sure enough, Warren was holding a squirming baby Aligator, who kept making the odd little sound that baby Aligators make.  
  
"Yes", said Warren, beaming like a proud father, "is'nt she precious?".  
  
"That's....an Aligator", said Mystique.  
  
"I know that", said Warren, patting Cookie on the head, ignoring the fact that she tried to take a chunk out of his hand as he did so, "her egg must have slipped in with the chicken ones. Oh look, she's yawning!".  
  
Cookie did indeed yawn, showing off little rows of tiny needle-sharp teeth.  
  
"She's sleepy", said Warren, "i'll take her to bed, she's had a long day, though i thought you all like to say hello".  
  
With that, Warren happily went back to his own room.  
  
"Suddenly....i'm glad Logan kicked me out", said Forge.  
  
"God damn it!", snapped Logan, "i'll feel like i'm camping in Alabama!".  
  
"Oh, ALABAMA!", shouted Hank joyously.  
  
******  
  
Buzzzzzzzzz buuuuuuuzzzz buzuuzzuuzuuzz  
  
Hanks scrunched up his face...he could SWEAR he could hear drilling. He'd only JUST dropped off to sleep too, that stupid game kept him up and he STILL hadn't named all the damn States. Stupid game. He opened one lazy eye and saw Forge sitting up in the dark, his bionic arm set to a drill, creating.....something. Hank sighed, sitting up and pulling himselff out of bed, noting that Jason was still fast asleep...lucky dog. Hank walked over to Forge and carefully placed a furry hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Forge?".  
  
Forge turned his head very slowly. His eyes were wide-open and unblinking, slightly glazed over.  
  
"I need to caculate how many raisins fit into a puddle of cheese", said Forge in a far-off voice.  
  
Hank blinked, removing his hand and taking a step back.  
  
"Ok", he said, ".....you do that".  
  
Forge turned his head back and carried on as if nothing had happened. Hank gave a frightened whimper and ran over to Jason, shaking him.  
  
"Nugh?", said Jason sleepily opening his eyes, then fornwing on Hank, "go away, it's only three in the morning for God's sake!".  
  
"Shhh!", said Hank, "it's Forge".  
  
Jason sighed, sitting up and glancing over at where Forge was happily inventing away.  
  
"He must be doing that sleep-inventing thing", he replied sleepily.  
  
Hank thought about this.  
  
"Go into his head", said Hank, "see what he's doing".  
  
Jason looked at him wide-eyed.  
  
"Are you CRAZY?!!!!", he snapped, "you know that rule, 'never wake a sleep- walker'?. Well the same goes for going into their heads!. Just, leave him alone, he'll go back to sleep eventually".  
  
"But...", started Hank, but Jason had arreadly burried himself back under his covers, probably switching his mind off to any outside interference.  
  
Hank glanced back at Forge, who appaered to be welding a fork to a napkin ring. Hank thought a little while, backed onto his bed, and hid under the covers.  
  
****  
  
Sabertooth gave a contented sigh, stretching out in the big bed. He got the nice honeymoon suite all to himself. Sure, he had to go through hell but it had been worth it. He groaned when he heard a knocking on the door.  
  
"Go away, Logan".  
  
"Come on, Creed, let me in", whispered Logan, "that damn Crocodile just tried to take a bite outta me!".  
  
"It's an Aligator", said Sabertooth, "an' you said this room was no good fer ya, so, bye bye".  
  
"Fine!", snapped Logan, "i'll see if Forge want to move back to his room!".  
  
Logan stoped away, then turned to knock on another door. After a while, a balnk-eyed Forge oppened the door. His tooled-up bionic arm glinted in the poor light, all it needed was a rift from Physco and Logan could have very well believed he had landed in a horror movie.  
  
"Hello", said Forge, tilting his head to the side, unblinking, "would you like to go to the moon on three cups of sugar and a stick of cellery?".  
  
Logan considered this.  
  
"I think i'll pass", he said.  
  
Forge shrugged and walked back into the room, closing the dooor behind him. Logan blinked as the sound of drilling started.....he didn't want to know. He took an about turn and headed back for his and Warrens room, he'd rather face the reptile.  
  
*****  
  
How did you like that one, huh? I know it was shorter than the others, but, neh. That was fun. Anyone think the sound baby Aligtors make is the cutest?. Well...i think so. *** 


	12. InnerAngst

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I have a son who's deaf, a son in a coma, and a daughter who's as ugly as sin"  
  
***  
  
Hazah my faithfull reviewers. Okay, first of all, i would like to appologise for my Alabama comment. I thought there were Aligators there..that's what the wildlife book said, obviously it was wrong, bad book!. Astria, Forge is indeed a Cheyenne, not only that, in the comics he was a Cheyenne Shaman. Don't worry everyone, there will be a story on what happened in the mansion while these guys were away, but it'll come out after i finished this, for obvious reasons. Sorry this is so late i was an ill Todd Fan, and, as you can see, i was working on my pardoy, go read it, i like this one ;)  
  
****  
  
Chapter 12 - Inner-Angst  
  
****  
  
Forge opened one sleepy eye, man, he had a headache. It was like he had been up all sleep-inven.....his eye focused on a lump of metal in front of him.  
  
"Awww man, not again", he said, burrying his head under the pillow.  
  
He pulled himself up to a sitting position, catching something shaking in the corner of his eye. He turned to see Hank, hugging his knees, his eyes wide with fear....it looked like he had been that way all night.  
  
"Errr....Hank?".  
  
Hank turned his head slowly to look at Forge.  
  
"You made that last night", he said in a small voice, "it was scary".  
  
"Yeah....i did warn you", said Forge, "hey, you got a stick or stomething?. I don't wanna touch it".  
  
Hank looked at him blankly.  
  
"No", he said, "no i don't".  
  
Forge sighed, getting up and walking over to the bathroom, banging on the door.  
  
"I'll be out in a minute", came Jason's voice.  
  
"You'd better make youself invisible, 'cause i'm coming in in five seconds, i need the shower-rail", said Forge, "one, two, three....".  
  
He trailled off, seeing a rabbit by his foot. He took a step back and looked behind him. There were rabbits on the floor, on the chairs, on the beds on the table, there were rabbits EVERYWHERE!. Forge whimpered and backed into a wall.  
  
"Sooooo not groovy, Jason".  
  
Hank cocked his head to the side, seeing Forge recoil in terror from thin air...maybe it was a side-effect of the sleep-inventing.  
  
"Forge?".  
  
Forge suddenly gave a yell of terror, leapt over something invisible and ran out of the door.  
  
"Heh heh heh", came Jasons voice from inside the bathroom.  
  
****  
  
At breakfast, Warren was grieveing. Apparently, Cookie had got hungry after trying to eat Logan, and so had decided to eat her little brother Candy (who, unbeknownst to Warren, was actually the fake-Candy). Warren had woken up to smashed egg shells, and nothing more.  
  
"I know it was because she was hungry", he said sadly, "but that some real sibling rivarly there".  
  
"Errr...Warren?", said Xavier slowly, pointing at a patch in Warren's wing where a load of feathers had come out, "what happened there?".  
  
"Oh, she was just making a nest", said Warren with a light chuckle, "she just janked a few feathers out with her teeth, she was cold. I'll heal".  
  
"You are one wigged out.....", sarted Forge, but was cut off by giggling.  
  
Everyone turned to see Clint resting his chin on Storm's shoulder, offering her a single rose. Storm was blushing and giggling like a school-girl.  
  
"Ugh, love", said Mystique, rolling her eyes as Clint nuzzled up to Ororo, "makes you want to puke, doesn't it?".  
  
"So, he wasn't eaten by a fifty-foot locust of death?", asked Forge with a sigh.  
  
"No", said Magneto, "but i'm starting to see a connection between you dreaming vividly and you sleep-inventing".  
  
"Ooooh, maybe your new gizmo is a Clint-killing...thing", said Mystique, "you should test it on him".  
  
"Don't tempt me", said Forge darkly.  
  
*****  
  
It wasn't long before everyone had gathered for class, Mystqiue having to forcibly remove Storm from Clint. Gelder was happily pacing in front of them and announced theur next class theme.  
  
"Getting in touch with your inner teenager".  
  
"I've been stuck with my 'outer teenager' for 20 godamn years!", muttered Forge.  
  
"Wow, you're cranky this morning", said Logan, "an' i thought Rogue was nasty".  
  
Forge gave Logan a glare that made him give a small noise and back off.  
  
"Now then", said Gelder happily, "once again, go into your teams, one of you will be the adult, and the rest of you will be teenagers. You will each get a card, the person who's card has the black spot on it will be the adult, and thus in charge of catering for your teenage-charge's needs".  
  
Logan flipped his card over, seeing a black dot.  
  
"Awwww hell!!!".  
  
"Okay people", said Gelder, "time to act".  
  
Logan turned to see the others smiling evily at him....this wasn't going to be fun. Xavier moved over first, a look of villianous porportions on his face.  
  
"Can i get a tattoo?", he asked, pointing to the side of his head, "i want a rattlesnake riiiiiiight here".  
  
Logan blinked.  
  
"Err....i'll think about it", he said.  
  
"HUH!", said Warren indignantly, "when I asked you, you said no. You obviously love Charles more than me. That's faveoritism that is!!!!".  
  
"Yeah, well he doesn't even CARE about me", said Sabertooth, suddenly whimpering, "no one does....everybody hates me".  
  
Sabertooth started to cry and Magneto walked up.  
  
"So, i decided to join a band", he said, "we're gonna be called Snot-Rag Millienum! Cool, huh?".  
  
"That's...errr....nice", said Logan, putting on a fake smile.  
  
"Does this mean i can have a car?", asked Mystique hopefully.  
  
"Errr....no", said Logan, "not just yet".  
  
"But...all the other kids have cars!", said Mystique, "i HATE you!!!!".  
  
"I hate you too!!!", said Warren.  
  
"How do i get girls to go out with me?", asked Hank, "there's a really pretty girl, but i don't know how to ask her out".  
  
"I'm gonna go and take my squease to this groovy party", said Forge, smiling and holding his hand out to Logan, "can i bum some bread dude?".  
  
Logan blinked several times....he hadn't got a CLUE what Forge had just said, but his brain didn't have time to process it as Jason cast him a paniked look.  
  
"All the other kids pick on me", he said, "i'm never gonna be in the popular crowd. They say i look like a monkey!. Monkey-Boy is what they yell, and they trip me up!!".  
  
"I feel for you, man", said Sabertooth, still sniffling, "no one cares for teenagers. They think we are all biker-hooligans!".  
  
"Awwww shut-up wimp!", said Xavier, "or i'll run you down in my chopper!".  
  
"Thats abuse!!!!", said Sabertooth, "see that? That. Is. Abuse!".  
  
Logan was starting to get a head-ache, he looked at the other groups 'adults', they all seemed to be dealing with their 'teenagers' problems easily.  
  
"I feel like i'm stuck in an episode of Dawsons Creek", he muttered, "....from Hell".  
  
"So...about my car", said Mystique, giving him a poke on the shoulder.  
  
"Forget your car!", said Magneto, "what about my band?. Can we practise in the garage?".  
  
"I tried calling her house, but i kept losing the nerve and hanging up", from Hank  
  
"They locked me upside down in my locker yesterday", said Jason, "no one let me out until fourth period".  
  
"Dude", said Forge, "i can't take a foxy babe out to boogie without any bread!".  
  
Logan blinked, there was that bread word again. He thought for a second, okay, time to deal with this. He quickly dove into his pocket, giving Forge a 10 dollar bill.  
  
"Bougart", muttered Forge.  
  
"Take it or leave it", he said, then looked at Sabertooth, "pull yaself together", to Jason - "stick up fer yerself", to Magneto - "ya can play in the garage until eight PM, no later", to Warren - "get over yerself", to Mystique - "get a job, buy your own car", to Xavier - "ya can do whatever the hell ya like to ya body once ya turn 18", to Hank- "take the plunge, worse she can do is say no".  
  
He turned to Storm, who had been very very quiet. He smiled, this one was easy, she was giving him some mercy, good 'ol Ororo. It was then that she hit him with the cherry on top of the cake.  
  
"I think you're dreamy", she said, fluttering her eyelashes at him.  
  
"Get a boyfriend!!!", shouted Logan, backing off, evil, evil Ororo.  
  
"And stop", shouted Gelder.  
  
"Oh thank God!", said Logan, storming out of the room.  
  
"Mr Logan...Mr Logan come back", called Gelder, "class isn't over yet, Mr Logan. We need to talk about what we've learned.....".  
  
"HELL NO!", came Logan's voice, "i'm going to get drunk".  
  
"But...Mr Logan, it's only Two PM", said Gelder, but she was not answered.  
  
****  
  
Yup, it feels good to be able to write again :) Anyway, as you can see, my next parody is up, and for those waiting for my Todd/Kitty fic, good news, it'll be up tomorrrow, yey!. Do review. Until next time.... 


	13. Enne guarde

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "The devil ripped me off for a hamburger!"  
  
*** Tenshi Kanashii - Yes, i did get inspiration from that scene, kudos to you ;). It shows how easily my mind is infulenced, no? Thanx4reading - Oh yes, i'm very proud of myself. The more people i get to my twisted way of thinking the better, whoahahahhahahha. Join my army!  
  
Yeah i dunno what happened with this one, it's a little...out there. Oh the DAY OF FUN is from Friends 'TOW The Princess Leia Fantasy' to be exact. You'd have to watch it to get the right tone of horrible nasal voice juuust right.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 13 - Enne Guarde  
  
****  
  
Gelder was fed up, she had her review and she WAS going to give it to everyone, like it or not. She had tracked Logan to the nearest bar, where he was slumped over a beer, surrounded by empty beer bottles. He had a small flower in between his finger, looking at it contemplatively. She cleared her throat and strode over to him, she would NOT be intimidated by this bully. Nope, she had worked at a girls summer camp for God's sake, that was worse than any burly, mean guy...with big sharp claws.  
  
"THERE you are, Mr Logan", said Gelder, sitting down on the table across from him, "i need to give you your review  
  
Logan looked thoughtfully at the flower in his hands, twirling it between his fingers.  
  
"Ever notice how pretty flowers are?".  
  
Gelder blinked.  
  
"Mr. Logan....are you feeling...okay?".  
  
Logan smiled at her.  
  
"Yes, yes i am", he said, his eyes slightly out-of-focus, "it's a beautifull day".  
  
"Mr. Logan.....", said Gelder carefully, "are you drunk?".  
  
"Maybe", replied Logan, smiling and handing her the flower, "there ya go".  
  
Gelder blinked twice, taking the flower from him.  
  
"Err...thanks?".  
  
"You're welcome", said Logan, then chuckled, "i have the munchies. Do you have the munchies? Lets go get pizza".  
  
****  
  
In another part of the hotel, everyone else had gathered in the rec room....as had their respective 'others'. Cliff was trying to get everyone to go swimming, while Shannon was giving a very false smile while Amber told her about the time she went bungie jumping in Minsk. Xavier and Magneto were playing chess, while Jason and Hank were trying to take on Sabertooth and Mystique in a game of foosball. Suddenly, Clint cleared his throat, deciding he wasn't going to get anyone into the pool THAT day. He walked over to the ping-pong table and picked up a bat.  
  
"Okay, who wants to challenge the best of the best?", he asked, pointing the bat at Magneto, "i bet you do".  
  
"I don't play games that involve physical work", he said, moving a chess piece.  
  
Clint looked at Xavier.  
  
"You're kidding", said Xavier flatly.  
  
"Honey, no one wants to play against you", said Ororo, where she was playing a pinball machine.  
  
It was then that Forge did a rather foolish thing. Maybe it was because he had lost alot of sleep, maybe it was jealousy, or maybe the fact that he was a guy just took over.  
  
"I'll play", he said standing up.  
  
"Oy", said Amber, covering her head with the hands the second she heard this, "here we go".  
  
Hank gave her a questioning look.  
  
"You'll see", said Amber quietly as Forge and Clint squared off.  
  
****  
  
And see they did. A few hours later, and the game was still going. According to Amber, Forge had done this once before, and had gone on for five hours. The person he had been playing against had to quit after spraining his wrist, Forge, having a bionic arm, had not had this problem. It appeared that the same was happening again.  
  
"What IS it with men and competing?", asked Mystique, watching the ball bounce back and forth, "i mean, WHY?!!".  
  
"Because men need to prove their worth by dueling", said Storm, "now i know Jean's pain. And to think i laughed at her".  
  
"I'm used to this", said Amber with a bored sigh, "...and when one is used to Forge...it's rarely a good thing".  
  
"I'll say", mumered Beast, duncking as the ball flew over his head, Clint in hot persuit, "my heart goes out to you".  
  
"AH HAH!", shouted Clint in truimph, bounding over Hank's, head and hitting the ball, but over-ballancing and ending up in a heap on the floor.  
  
Forge very easily flicked it back and it bounced off Clint's head as he lay on the floor, making odd sounds. Ororo gave Forge a death-glare and knelt down by Clint, giving him a few pokes.  
  
"I win", said Forge smugly.  
  
"Yes, okay, you win", said Amber, marching over and grabbing his left arm, twisting it as she walked him away, "you do that victory dance and you'll be sorry".  
  
"Good arm, good arm!!!", protested Forge as he was dragged off.  
  
As he and Amber walked out, a very pale Logan walked past them into the room, sitting down on a chair, looking dead ahead.  
  
"Logan.....are you okay?", asked Xavier carefully, Logan didn't look well.  
  
"Who let me drink in the daytime?", asked Logan in a far-off voice.  
  
"Oh dear God, what happened?", asked Hank, walking over, then stepping back at the stench of aclohol, "oh..never mind".  
  
Logan blinked a few times, obviously in shock.  
  
"I..i went drinking and the Gelder woman, she came to give me my report", he said, "i...i'd drunk alot.....and i got friendly and...".  
  
Jason gasped, pointing at him wildly.  
  
"You slept with the teacher!!!!!", he said, then laughed, "THAT'S how you get good grades!".  
  
Logan groaned, burrying his head in his hands.  
  
"Kill me, kill me NOW", he said, "what am i gonna do?. We still have 2 weeks of this woman!!!".  
  
"Maybe if you sat down and talked to her...", ventured Shannon.  
  
Logan looked at her, his brow furrowed.  
  
"I don't know you", he said, "you're new".  
  
Shannon mumbled under her breath, backing away and hiding behind Beast.  
  
"Lets take a bet, shall we?", said Magneto, "how many people can have one- night stands before we go home".  
  
Mystique and Sabertooth both gave him a cold glare.  
  
"...Maybe not".  
  
"I almost won", came Clint voice from the floor, "and.... oh my God, my hand is covered in splinters!".  
  
"You poor baby", said Storm, "i'll find some ice for it. Someone will get an electric shock later, belive me!".  
  
****  
  
"You like her don't you?".  
  
Forge blinked, stopping dead. Was that just an inteligent question, form AMBER?! He glanced over at her, she had her arms crossed and was watching his reaction. Maybe she wasn't as ditzy as she appeared.....and that scared him.  
  
"Like who?", he answered with a shrug, "i don't like anyone..".  
  
"Yuh huh. Nice try Forgey", she replied, giving him a poke, "the one with the wite hair..Ororo".  
  
"I don't like her", said Forge, staring at the ground intently, "not like that anyway".  
  
"Please, you look at her the same way you did Tyler", pointed Amber.  
  
Forge was once again suprised. In high school, Amber had ignored his girlfriends existance, choosing to flirt with him unashamedly with him in front of her. Thank God Tyler had patience. He decided that wasn't worth an answer, muttering something incoherent.  
  
"Oh mah gawwd Forge, get over yourself", said Amber, poking him in the head, "look, cause i'm you're friend, i'm going to help you get over her".  
  
"I don't need your....."  
  
But he was cut off, he could tell by the way she was grinning, Amber was already brainstorming.  
  
"Okay, hows this...", she said, waving a hand in the air to emphasise something great, "Amber and Forge's day of fun!".  
  
"....a whole day?", said Forge weakly.  
  
"Yep a whooooooole day!", said Amber, "no arguments, i know where you live, Forgeykins".  
  
"Lucky me", said Forge dryly, "i'm so lucky i may dance of joy".  
  
But Amber had gone into her selective hearing mode, jabbering on about the 'fun' they would have the next day. Obviously, the intelect had only been a passing phase. Lucky him.  
  
*****  
  
There we go, another chappie up. I promise the next one will be better ;) Do review. Until next time..... 


	14. Forge and Amber's Day Of Fun!

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Say there's someone really depressed.. What would push him over the edge? You know, send him running for the razors... anything come to mind".  
  
*** Thanks to all my good 'ol reviewers woooooo! Just a warning, this chapter has more Monty Python and the Holy Grail refrences than you can shake a stick at. Tee hee. That rabbit's dyanamite!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 14 - Forge and Amber's Day Of Fun!  
  
***  
  
The next day had arrived all to quickly, and despite Forge's best efforts of hiding, he had been dragged away by Amber for their fun. The others, meanwhile, had a terrible situation on their hands. They had gathered together, minus Angel and Forge, and had decided that Cookie had to go. She had already eaten the keys to the X-Van and Hank was walking with a limp.  
  
"So, here's what we do", said Magneto, "we'll rush him. Hank, Sabertooth and Logan can hold him down while the rest of us grab Cookie and take her to the nearest zoo".  
  
"Have you got in touch with a zoo to ask if they can take her?", asked Xavier.  
  
"Well....no", said Magneto, "i was hoping we could just...you know...hide her in one of our pockets and just...slip her into the aligator exhibit when no-ones looking".  
  
"Works for me!", said Mystique happily.  
  
"What works for you?".  
  
Everyone looked up to see Angel walk in, Cookie in his arms, growling and trying to take a chunk out of his chin.  
  
~ Let's try to reason with him first ~ sent Xavier into everyone's heads.  
  
"Angel", said Hank with a small smile, "we want to talk to you about Cookie...".  
  
"Isn't she the cutest?", said Warren, patting her on the head, Cookie responding by trying to take his index finger off.  
  
"Adorable", they all said in unsion, but not putting very much effort into it.  
  
"Listen Warren", said Xavier, taking a deep breath, "i think it's time we took her to a zoo".  
  
Warren gave Xavier a look which suggested he had told him he had to get his wings clipped. He held the aligator close to him, Cookie making growling sound at this and chewing on his jacket.  
  
"You CAN'T take her, you can't!!!!", he shouted.  
  
The others looked at each other, each giving the silent nod to what had to be done next. Sabertooth leapt from where he had been hiding behind the door, grabbing onto Warren's back. Warren started to shout, flicking his wings around and twirling in circles in an atempt to get him off.  
  
"Warren, this is fer yer own good", said Sabertooth, holding on for dear life, "you can't keep a pet aligator, you have to let go, you...are suprisingly strong!".  
  
Angel suddenly opened his wings up, full span, not only knocking Sabertooth off him, but causing many of the rooms occupants to duck as well. He proceeded to run to the open window, jump out of it and fly off with Cookie.  
  
"I knew we should have done it my way", said Storm, "an illusion, followed by a lightening bolt...we'd have that aligator right now".  
  
"Shut up Ororo", said Logan.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Forge was still on his 'Day Of Fun' with Amber...the problem? He wasn't having fun. He'd had more fun in Middleverse....and that thought was very, very depressing. Amber had been chirping on to herself for a few hours now. She had dragged him to a boat- race, and a fun-fair, and a magic show. He had turned off to her rambling hours ago, only half-listening, putting in a few 'yeah's' and 'groovy's' now and again to make it SEEM like he was listening. But she then said something that made him stop dead.  
  
"You've had this silly little phobia longer than i have known you", said Amber, "i think it's time we dealt with it".  
  
Phobia.....no, oh no!.  
  
"Nuh huh", said Forge, shaking his head, "me and my phobia are fine. We don't need dealing with!".  
  
"You know the BEST way to get rid of a phobia?", asked Amber.  
  
"Hide away from it for all eternity?", asked Forge, "if you see it, run away. Never keep your guard down?"  
  
"No, silly", said Amber, giving him a punch in the arm, making Forge wince, "you FACE THEM!".  
  
Forge paled.  
  
"I don't wanna face them!", he said, "this is supposed to be a day of fun, i'm not having fun!!!!!".  
  
"Now lets start small", said Amber, reaching into her bag and rumaging around, "there's something in here, just for you".  
  
"Please say it's a gun, please say it's a gun", said Forge, closing his eyes.  
  
"Hehehehehhehehehehheh", said Amber, pulling out a sock.  
  
But this was no ordinary sock. This was a sock with two other socks attached to it, along with shoe-lace whiskers, two buttons for eyes and a button nose. This was a sock rabbit! Quite frankly, Forge felt betrayed.....not to mention sheer terror.  
  
"Amber.....", he said, backing away slightly.  
  
"Awwww don't be such a wuss", said Amber, putting the sock bunny on her hand and moving it around, "it's just a cute little sock bunny".  
  
"Yeah, see the sock isn't the problem, it's the bunny bit thats a problem", said Forge, really wishing he was somewhere else right now.  
  
"But it's sweet and it luvs you", said Amber, putting her hand forward and brushing Forge's nose as if the bunny had sniffed him.  
  
Forge - Freaked - Out. He gave a squeak of sheer terror, falling down and backpeadling away as fast as he could.  
  
"Nonononononononononononononono", he said, his eyes wide.  
  
"Okay.....that didn't work", said Amber, watching him as he attempted to scramble away, "okay Forge, i'm putting the bunny away".  
  
Forge calmed a little.  
  
"Never, EVER pull that out on me again, you evil, evil woman!", he said.  
  
"Mmmmmm, maybe we need a different approach", said Amber, "maybe you need to dive head first instead!".  
  
"No, there will be no diving!", said Forge, "none!".  
  
But, as usual, Amber ignored him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away.  
  
*****  
  
"Have you found him?".  
  
Mystique shook her head.  
  
"No, he's nowhere to be found".  
  
"Oh COME ON!", said Magneto, "How hard is it to miss a guy with a SIXTEEN FOOT WINGSPAN!!!!".  
  
"Carrying a baby aligator, no less", put in Hank.  
  
"You'd be suprised", said Jason dryly, "i created the illusion of a guy walking around with a rubber chicken on his head...no one batted an eyelid".  
  
Mystique blinked.  
  
"Jason...why did you..?", she paused, "no, never mind, i don't want to know".  
  
It was then a tired Sabertooth and Logan came in.  
  
"We can't find him anywhere", said Logan.  
  
"He'll come back when he's hungry", said Sabertooth with a nod, "they always do".  
  
"Do you honestly think having a winged millionaire and his pet aligator is a good thing to let roam the streets?", asked Xavier, no one replied, so he did for them, "no, you silly, silly monkey people, NO!".  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
"I'm....sorry", said Xavier, "i...i don't know where that came from.....i think i'll go...lie down".  
  
Without another word, he wheeled out of the room.  
  
*****  
  
Forge meanwhile had found himself in a place he REALLY didn't want to be. A petting zoo. Amber was happily picking up a white fluffy bunny....Forge couldn't even look at the thing and was keeping a good three feet of space between him and the rabbit.  
  
"Are you SURE this'll work?", he asked, hoping she would have some mercy.  
  
"Sure it will!", said Amber, "it'll have you cured in no time......or it'll degenerate you into a cowering mess that not even the best psychiatrist could cure".  
  
"What?".  
  
"Nothing", she said, then held out the rabbit, "say hello to Harvey".  
  
Forge looked at the rabbit. The rabbit looked at Forge,  
  
"Someone get me a holy hand-grenade!!!", said Forge, closing his eyes.  
  
He reached his hand out to touch 'Harvey'. Harvey sniffed at his hand for a second, before biting Forge on the thumb. Unfortunately, Forge had used his left hand, his eyes shot open, seeing a rabbit hanging by the teeth on his hand. His ONLY hand. Forge did the only logical thing he could thing of at the time. Forge panicked  
  
"AIIIIEEEEEE", he said, flinging his hand around, Harvey still attached, jutting around like a fuzzy white ragdoll.....with ears, "Vóhkóóhe! Vóhkóóhe!!!!".  
  
Amber watched as Forge ran around the room, frailing his arm about, yelling something in Cheyenne. It was always a bad sign when Forge forgot to use English. She watched him run around a bit....and then watched him run headlong into a wall. He blinked back, a little dazed, then fell to the floor with a thud. It was then that Harvey decided to let go, hopping over Forge's head and back into it's hutch. Harvey's snowy white-fur covered in blood very much in a killer-rabbit-esque style. Amber blinked a few times, then gave Forge's unconcious form a prod.  
  
"I think we need an ambulance", she said.  
  
******  
  
A few hours later, Forge awoke on his make-shift bed in his hotel room, to see Mystique looming over him.  
  
"Aghhh!", he said, jutting fully awake, then looking at his bandaged hand, "oh man, i thought it was just a nightmare....heavy".  
  
"Yeah yeah, woe is you", said Mystqiue irritably, "have you seen Warren around?".  
  
Forge looked at her flatly.  
  
"Sorry, i was too busy being mauled and loosing blood to notice a winged man anywhere".  
  
"You were bitten by a rabbit!!", snapped Mystique, "there's barely a little cut. You've only got a concussion because you ran into a wall, you idiot!".  
  
Forge blinked, what had he done to her?!!!!.  
  
"So...where is everyone else?", he tried, not wanting to irritae the already VERY angry shapeshifter.  
  
"Looking for Warren!", said Mystique, "we tried to take Cookie from him and he flipped out. I was looking for him until your stupid bimbo girlfriend showed up dragging your unconcious ass around, so i had to look after you!".  
  
"She's not my girlfriend", said Forge, tilting his head in confusion, "what's with the head-trip, Raven?".  
  
"I am NOT on a 'head-trip'", snapped Mystqiue, "now get up and make some sort of Warren-catching...thing to nab him if he comes back!".  
  
Forge blinked, but did as he was told, right now, Mystique did NOT seem to be the person to agrue with.  
  
****  
  
Wow, more insanity. Where did Warren go? Find out next time!. Incidentally Vóhkóóhe is Cheyenne for Rabbit. Please, do review. Until next time.... 


	15. Missing an Angel

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I don't know whether to look at him or read him".  
  
*****  
  
Ello my dear, dear readers. Well, i looked at my reviews and i though 'gee, what IS the fear of Rabbits called'?. You know what? I couldn't find it!!! Oh no, i could find the fear of feeling pleasure, and the fear of chickens. But could i find the fear of Rabbits? Noooooo! Apparently, Forge's phobia is so rare, they haven't bothered to name it. But what i already DID know, whiout having to look it up, as some of you were wondering, that Rabbits belong in the group Lagamorphs,..sorry, had a little physco animal care tutor flashback there..i'm better now. I was in an odd, evil mood today, this is reflected in this chapter, yup.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 15 - Missing an Angel.  
  
****  
  
As many people bustled around the small, bizare town, not a one noticed a winged man sitting in an alleyway with an Aligator in his arms. Or..maybe they DID see it, and were pretending not to.  
  
"It's okay, Cookie", said Warren, patting the aligators head, "we'll run away and...join the circus, yeah! That'll show 'em, they can't take you away, nope nope nope".  
  
Cookie blinked at Warren before latching onto his finger. Warren grimaced as she bit down to the bone.  
  
"Teething pains, poor thing", he said, ignoring the fact his finger was bleeding rather nastily.  
  
"THERE HE IS!".  
  
Warren gave a squeak of suprise as Magneto and Storm charged towards him. He instantly took to the air...which didn't do him much good. He remembered too late that both of his persuers could also 'fly'.....damn. He glanced behind him, seeing Storm and Magneto in hot persuit through the air. He'd have to lose them somehow....  
  
*****  
  
Forge smiled proudly at his Warren-Catching machine, which he had proudly dubbed 'The Angelminator'. Considering his ravaged hand was hurting and he still felt slightly concussed after running into a wall, he thought he'd done a pretty darn good job. Mystique, however, did not.  
  
"Is that it?".  
  
Forge gave a low flat look. She had critisied every single little thing he had done, and, quite frankly, he was ready to shove a screwdriver into her eye.  
  
"This is a state of the art Warren-catching-device!", said Forge moodily, "what do you expect me to come up with in half an hour with a concussion?".  
  
"It's a fishing net on a trip wire", Mystique pointed out.  
  
Forge looked at it. Yes, yes it was. But it was a really GOOD fishing net on a trip wire.  
  
"You want me to catch wing-boy or not?".  
  
"How are you going to do it with THAT?", said Mystique.  
  
"Well...he'll fly into it..won't he?", said Forge, "and the trip wire will release the net, which'll fall on Warren and Warren will...plummet to the ground...mmm...maybe i haven't thought all of this through...".  
  
"You think?", snapped Mystique, "who do you think you are, Wile E. Coyote?".  
  
"Yeah, compare me to a cartoon character, THAT'S mature", said Forge, rolling his eyes, "look if you're gonna point out my every mistake, can you do it somewhere else? Like Cuba?".  
  
This earned his a very scathing look, which Mystique kept trained on him for a while, before giving up, crossing her arms, and muttering about wanting to go home. Forge was begining to wonder if he'd ever be in the company of a woman who was NOT criminally insane or evil. He glanced, up, hearing yelling to see Magneto and Storm herding Warren towards the window. Forge ducked and waited. There was a rather loud crash and horrified yelling.  
  
"AH HAH!", said Forge, leaping up, "we..got..you?".  
  
Magneto watched him, floating in the air, his arms crossed, the fishing net wrapped around him. Storm glanced at this, before shrugging and carrying on after Warren.  
  
"WRONG PERSON!", said Magneto, "idiot. He flew up and led me right into this thing!".  
  
"Err...whoops?", tried Forge with a chuckle.  
  
There was a magnetic hum and Magneto commenced to make Forge hit his own head repeatedly with his bionic arm.  
  
"HEY, quit it!", said Forge, trying to escape his prosthetic limb's wrath.  
  
"Get me out of this, NOW!", said Magneto.  
  
"I will if ya quit hitting me with..me", said Forge.  
  
Magneto got in another whack before releasing control of Forge's arm. Forge gave him a death glare and went to release him. It was then that Mystique started to giggle manically. She just sat on the bed, giggling like a thing possesed, her eyes glazed over. Both men blinked a few times, looked at each other, then at her.  
  
"Raven?", tried Magneto, very carefully, "are you feeling quite alright?".  
  
Raven didn't hear, and carried on giggling.  
  
"Does she do this...alot?", asked Forge.  
  
"No", said Magneto, "quite frankly...i'm terrifed".  
  
It was then that Mystique fell off the bed...or rather, slid, still in a fit of uncontrolable giggles.  
  
****  
  
Warren, meanwhile, had flown around the hotel building and managed to land in the bedroom oposite the one with the trap in, which he assumed was Sabertooth's. Yes, this would be a good place to hide. He heard Storm heading the same way as himself and dove into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and closing his eyes. Cookie made an iritated squeak.  
  
"Warren, i know you're in there!", came Storm's voice from the other side, "i saw you go in. Come out, now".  
  
"Errr.....i'll just be a minute!", called Warren, looking at Cookie frantically before running the tap water.  
  
"I'm giving you FIVE seconds before i blast this door down", said Storm, creating a pocket of wind and lightening in front of her, "one, two...".  
  
Warren despreately looked around for somewhere to hide Cookie. Before throwing the poor thing in the toilet, slamming the lid down. He then rushed out and smiled sweetly, stopping Storm on four.  
  
"Hi", he said, as if they hadn't spent the past few hours looking for him, then chasing him.  
  
"Where's the aligator, Warren?", asked Xavier, hearing the comotion and wheeling in.  
  
"I...i took her to the zoo", said Warren, hanging his head low, "she's gone now...i miss her".  
  
He added a small sniffle to seal the deal. None of them noticed Sabertooth walk into the bathroom. After a short while, there was an angry snarl and the sound of a toilet flushing. Warren's eyes shot open.  
  
"COOKIE!!", he shouted, bursting in as Sabertooth was walking out, looking VERY angry.  
  
"Oh yeah, worry about the lizard", he said, "never mind the fact i just got bitten in a VERY personal place".  
  
Warren was trying to see down the u-bend, but couldn't see Cookie.  
  
"Nooooooo!!!!".  
  
Magneto and Forge walked in from across the hall, hearing the noise and taking the opportunity to get away from the hysterical Mystique, whom they ahd left giggling on the floor.  
  
"I take it you found him then?", asked Magneto, as Warren came running back into the room.  
  
He pulled Forge into the bathroom, waving frantically at the toilet.  
  
"Fix, open...get..Cookie, NOW!", he said.  
  
Forge looked at the toilet, then back at Warren.  
  
"I'm a mechanic, not a plumber", he said, before pulling his arm away and stalking off, only to have Warren grab onto his leg.  
  
"PLEASE!!!".  
  
"I am NOT sticking my hand down that manky hole", said Forge pointedly, "accept it, man, Cookie has gone to a better place. The sewerage system. Now let go of my leg, you're making a scene".  
  
Warren released Forge and crawled into a corner, curling up.  
  
"I'd like some time to greive", he said in a small voice.  
  
The others looked between each other before shrugging and walking (or wheeling) out of the room and back across the hall, where Mystique was still giggling.  
  
"The poor guy", said Storm, "we really should think of a way to cheer him up".  
  
"He's a millionaire, Ororo", pointed out Forge, as he started to dismantle the trap, "what could we get him that can cheer him up?".  
  
"More money".  
  
Everyone looked down at Mystique, who was sitting up, alert, almost as if the last few minutes had not happened, "...what?".  
  
"Are you....better now?", tried Magneto carefully.  
  
"I never wasn't", said Mystique, "...freak".  
  
"Who's a freak and why is Warren crying?".  
  
Logan, Hank and Jason walked in, and Xavier proceeded to tell them about the 'toilet tragedy'.  
  
"You flushed Warren's pet aligator down the toilet?", asked Logan, looking at Sabertooth.  
  
"I PANICKED!", said Sabertooth with a growl, crossing his arms, "you weren't there!".  
  
"I still say more money will make him happier", said Mystique.  
  
"Oh and where do we get more money, might i ask?", said Hank.  
  
"That casino a few miles away", said Mystique.  
  
"I'm sorry, last time my people went to a casino, two of them got married..illegally", said Xavier, "i'm not going through that again!" *1  
  
"That was Las Vegas, this is just one casino", said Jason, "can't be THAT bad".  
  
"It'lll mean we'll get away from the building for a day", put in Storm.  
  
"Lets go, lets go!", said Logan, "no Gelder. This is a great idea!".  
  
And it was thus decided that they would head off to a casino. They wished to cheer up their winged friend...plus no one wanted ot argue with a desperate Logan.  
  
****  
  
*1 - See Sugar and Spice ;) Another chapter done, tee hee. Come on, i HAD to get a casino in there somewhere, it's a tradition :D. Please, do review, until next time.. 


	16. Money makes the world go round

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You can't sing show tunes and be depressed"  
  
***  
  
Woooooo!! We have an answer to the greatest question of all time...well i think it is... Cuniculuphobia is the fear of Rabbits, Gods bless you Shel! *Gives Shel thousands of gallons of Todd Fan love* When trying to imagine Mrs Bitterman, try to imagine an older version of Mrs Montgomery from Dharma and Greg, and you have her ;)  
  
****  
  
Chapter 16 - Money makes the world go round  
  
****  
  
"Oh come on Warren, cheer up!", said Storm, giving him a poke, "this place is FULL of money. It's a Casino, you should feel right at home".  
  
Warren gave a frustrated sigh. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be looking for Cookie.  
  
"I'm already a millionaire, what would i want to do in a casino? I could BUY this place!".  
  
"Oh lucky you, heir to the Worthington fortune", quipped Logan, "where are ya gonna plant your next money tree?".  
  
Magneto blinked.  
  
"What DOES your father DO anyway?", he asked.  
  
Warren paused, cocking his head ot the side.  
  
"....I'd like to say it's something to do with cars....but i'm not sure..".  
  
"Warren Kenneth Worthington, i haven't seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper!".  
  
Warren gave a noise that could be called a 'squeak'. He turned around to see an old rich lady, who promptly hugged him tightly, kissing his cheeks.  
  
"Uuhhhh helllo Mrs Bitterman", said Warren with a nervous chuckle, "what are you doing here?".  
  
"Having some time in this great casino!", said Bitterman, "my look how you've...grown".  
  
The old womans eyes fell on Warren's wings. Warren cleared his throat and ruffled them nervously.  
  
"Yes...those..erm..well...".  
  
Bitterman reached out an old hand to touch one.  
  
"My my my, how..interesting", she said, "wasn't sure if mutations coulld occur in such....regal blood".  
  
Magneto looked just about ready to clop this woman across the head with something heavy, but instead chose to vent his frustrations by making a one- arm-bandit explode, showering money everywhere. Bitterman smiled at the remaning few stood behind Warren, lucky for them Hank, Mystique and Sabertooth had gone walkabouts. She offered them all a smile, then put her hand up to Forge, palm up.  
  
"How", she said, then said very slowly, "are-you-enjoying-the-casi-no?. Make-shiney-mon-ey".  
  
Warren groaned, slapping his face. Forge's eye twitched ever so slightly.  
  
"Very-much-thank-you", he said back, equally as slowly, "i'm-an-invent-or. Make-good-in-come".  
  
THAT confused Bitterman no end. She blinked several times, then decided she didn't know how to deal with Forge and flounced over to start a conversation with Xavier, who seemed ready to wheel away as fast as his chair could take him the second he noticed this.  
  
"Sorry", said Warren, giving Forge his best 'i really am so very very sorry' smile, "she's old and...not really with the whole..new ideas thing...".  
  
Forge stared at him for a long time.  
  
"Your middle name is Kenneth?", he finally said.  
  
Warren blinked, well, that was better than being on the buisness end of a hissy fit..  
  
"Yes", said Warren, "yes it is. And you have no right to laugh Mr 'I don't have a Real name'".  
  
"I have a real name", said Forge, crossing his arms, "i just choose not to let anyone know".  
  
"Why?", asked Jason, walking over and rasiing an eyebrow, he has escaped Bitterman by being 'too monkey-looking'.  
  
Forge breathed a long sigh.  
  
"My parents decided to follow the 'trend' when i was born, it was the sixties, so they decided to give their one and only son a unique and different name, one that would make him stand out from the crowd", he paused, "i have NEVER forgiven them for that".  
  
"What IS your real name?", asked Warren  
  
"You will never, ever know", said Forge, "i refused to be assiociated with it from the moment i could logically think...i must have been about 4 months old".  
  
"It's Susan, isn't it?", asked Logan a grin forming on his face, "oh please tell me it's Susan".  
  
Forge gave him a deadpan look.  
  
"No, it's not Susan".  
  
"Is it Forest?", tried Logan again, only to have Forge roll his eyes at him and walk off, Logan following behind, "Peachblossom?, Sunflower?, Pochahontas?".  
  
******  
  
A little while later and everyone had divided up. Ororo and Mystique had hit the one-arm-bandits, Magneto and Xavier had gone for the roulette wheel. Logan had got bored of quizzing Forge about his real name, and had decided to go and eat the '99 cents lobster meal' with Hank. Warren was still trapped with the rich old lady. Jason and Sabertooth, being the only Acolytes after Magneto 'ditched' them had decided to see a magic show. The star attraction was a huge snow tiger named Rabid. The poor thing had seen better days, and it was breaking Sabertooth's heart to see one of his fellow felines being made to do...ugh, tricks. Cats didn't preform, cats were..well, they were cats!  
  
"Make a distraction", he said, turning to Jason, who looked about ready to fall asleep from sheer boredom, like Warren, he had enough money not to care about being in a casino, and this magic act was less to be desired.  
  
"You know they wont let you keep it", he said, "if they wont let Warren keep a baby Aligator, they wont let you keep a 600 pound tiger".  
  
"Who said i was gonna keep her?", said Sabertooth, "i'm gonna set her free".  
  
"In the middle of town?"  
  
"Yeah", said Sabertooth, "she'll find a home in the mountains and she can leap over my arm, like that whale did, as some guy sings 'Born Free'".  
  
Jason blinked, several times.  
  
"Have you been sniffing catnip again?".  
  
Sabertooth gave a low growl.  
  
"Just make with the hocus pocus, huh?".  
  
Jason rolled his eyes. On stage, the Great Fantismo had just put Rabid into a box. He was waving his hands drimatically when the tiger suddenly appeared next to him. The look on the magicians face suggested that wasn't supposed to happen. Jason put his feet up on the back of his chair as the crowd screamed.  
  
"Now THIS is a show".  
  
As the crowd panicked, Sabertooth leapt, invisible to all, onto the stage, opened the box and freed Rabid. He slung the big cat over his shoulder and ran out. A few minutes later, the panicking crowd stopped panicking as the tiger they had been watching vanished into thin air.  
  
****  
  
Magneto, despite Xavier's condoning look, was having GREAT fun stopping the roulette wheel exactly where he wanted it. Xavier had made a few comments about cheating running in the family, which Magneto had chosen to ignore.  
  
"Come on black 13", he said, for the beifit of the crowd, "papa needs a new box-set of metal exective toys".  
  
As the ball spun, Magneto simply made it slip into the right nook.  
  
~Magnus, we are attracting security, lets move along, mmmm?~  
  
Magneto sighed, he HATED when Xavier did that.  
  
~Oh fine, spoil all my fun...big meanie~  
  
As they turned away, heading to the Blackjack table, they noticed a very familar figure hunched over his hand of cards. Both men looked at each other, then at the figure. Magneto stepped forward and tapped the figure on the shoulder.  
  
"Gambit?".  
  
Remy gave a squeak of absolute terror throwing his cards in the air and falling off his stool. He blinked up, dazed, before he focused on Magneto and Xavier and stood up with the best amount of dignity he could muster.  
  
"Bonjour".  
  
Magneto blinked, several times.  
  
"Remy...", he said slowly, "why are you here? You're supposed to be watching the kids".  
  
Remy glanced around nervously.  
  
"Remy was watching the kids", he said, "Remy just come for some fun is all...Remy leave John and Piotr in charge".  
  
"You left Pyro in Xavier's house...with just Colossus to guard him?", said Magneto, "how has his lighter?!!!".  
  
Remy fished into his pocket, pulling out a zippo lighter with a sharks head design on it (X-2, anyone?).  
  
"Remy got it right here", he said, then added quietly, "not that he needs it".  
  
"He's hiding something!", said Xavier, "but he's...blocking me".  
  
"Yeah", said Magneto giving a nervous laugh, "i..kind of taught him that...never saw it backfiring on me".  
  
"Really?", said Xavier dryly, "well, lets just see..".  
  
They turned to see Gambit making a break for it.  
  
"Oh NO you dont!"  
  
Gambit hadn't seen Logan dive at him until it was too late. The much shorter mutant tackled him to the ground and sat on his legs.  
  
"LET GAMBIT GO!!", hollered the Cajun.  
  
"You're going to sit down with us all and have a little...chat", said Magneto with a smile.  
  
****  
  
There we go. A slightly smaller chappie i know. But the next one will be fulla fun. Gambit won't be here for long, so enjoy him while you can ;) Do review. Until next time... 


	17. Shallow in the deep end

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope.....with their teeth!"  
  
*****  
  
Hellooo my faithfull reviewers. Firstly, i appologise for the typo in the last chapter. Logan quipped the comment, not Lance. It has been changed ;)  
  
Trunksblue - I clock Gambit, Pyro and Colossus in their late teens, raging from about 17-19, so they aren't adults :P. Oh i would LOVE to tell you Forge's real name, i really would. Sadly, it has never, ever EVER been revealed. Not once. *Mutters* Evil Marvel.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 17 - Shallow in the deep end.  
  
****  
  
"Well, i feel stupid".  
  
Sabertooth rolled his eyes at Jason, who was trying to keep himself within five feet of Rabid at all times. Rabid however, decided she liked her saviours and was trotting along with them, making the odd, raspy not-quite- a-purr sound that tigers make.  
  
"Just think of the good we're doing, Jazz!", said Sabertooth proudly, patting Rabid on the head.  
  
"Oh, yes", said Jason, "releasing a 600 pound, carnivorous predator into a town full of people, soooo much good....and don't call me Jazz!".  
  
"Oh, she won't kill anyone, Jazz!", said Sabertooth, "maybe just....maul them a little".  
  
"Well, i'm convinced!", said Jason sarcastically, "hey, while we're at it, lets release a whole tank-full of flesh-eating pirahnas into the lake!".  
  
"Now you're just being stupid", said Sabertooth, stopping and smiling at Rabid, waving his hand, "go on, be free, live long and prosper, the world is your oyster!".  
  
"Oh boy", said Jason, shaking his head.  
  
Rabid blinked at Sabertooth, not moving. Sabertooth sighed and cleared his throat. Well, maybe it had to be done in a certain way.  
  
"Born Free, as free as the wind blows", sang Sabertooth, "as free as the grass grows, born free to follow your heart".  
  
Despite Sabertooth's...stunning preformance, Rabid didn't budge an inch.  
  
"Maybe we both need to sing", said Sabertooth.  
  
"I am NOT singing 'Born Free' to a tiger", said Jason pointedly.  
  
Sabertooth gave a dangerous growl. Jason gulped, his life or his dignity, oh what a choice!  
  
"Stay free, where no walls devide you", Jason sang half-heartedly, while Sabertooth launched into it happily, "you're free as a roaring tide, so there's no need to hide".  
  
Rabid blinked at them both. Jason stopped singing, sighed, and gave Sabertooth a poke. Sabertooth, however, was still in full song.  
  
"Born Free, and life is worth...", he paused, glaring at Jason, "WHAT?!!".  
  
"It's not working", said Jason, pointing at Rabid, who had sat down in front of them, washing a huge paw.  
  
"Oh", said Sabertooth, "eeerr...maybe if we just...walk away".  
  
Both mutants turned around and started to walk away slowly. That was until they noticed Rabid trotting after them.  
  
"....Ok, we have a problem", said Jason.  
  
******  
  
Logan sighed contentedly. He was sitting in Hank, Jason and Forge's room for some peace and quiet. Magneto and Xavier were grilling that odd Cajun kid, Storm, Mystique and Forge were in the pool, Hank was on a date with Shannon, Angel had gone on another 'Cookie search' and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Jason or Sabertooth. Life was good. So, he had ransacked the room trying to find Forge's I.D in an attempt to get his real name, but it appeared that Forge could hide stuff....really well. Never mind. He closed his eyes, enjoying the silence. It was then he heard the buzzing. He opened one eye to see a wasp buzzing around the room. He grunted and closed his eyes again. But now he had noticed the wasps precense, the buzzing had seemed to get louder. How was he supposed to sleep with that going on?. Logan gave an anoyed shout, throwing the first available object at the wasp. Unfortunately, it was Forge's prostheic arm, which he'd taken off to go swiming. Logan watched in sheer horror as the arm missed the wasp, then promptly sailed through the open window.  
  
"No, no, no, no!".  
  
He ran to the window and looked out of it, he couldn't see anything on the street. He gave a whimper before running out of the room, racing down the stairs until he got outside. Okay...no arm on the floor. If there was no arm on the floor, and no arm in the room, then that meant....  
  
"You dropped Forge's prosthetic limb on the hotel ledge?"  
  
A few minutes later, Hank was staring at Logan, crossing his arms. He was not too happy. He had been having a lovely not-a-date with Shannon when Logan had crept up to his table and dragged him away.  
  
"It's not like i did it on PURPOSE!", defended Logan, waving his arms around, "It was the wasp, THE WASP!!. And who leaves a stupid window open anyway?".  
  
"Ok, no need to panic", said Hank, deciding not to point out that HE had been the one who had left the window open, "We just find Storm, Angel or Magneto and get them to fly out and get it".  
  
"I TRIED!", snapped Logan, "Magneto won't open the door, Angel's who knows where and Storm is with Forge, and i CAN'T LET FORGE KNOW!!!".  
  
"No", said Hank with a sigh, "i guess you can't really tell a person you have thrown something of such value as a artifical limb, which allows them to contiune life as normally as possible, out of a window and onto a hotel ledge".  
  
Logan blinked, several times.  
  
"I'm going straight to Hell...aren't i?".  
  
Hank decided to neither deny or confirm that statement.  
  
"I'll go figure this out", he said, "stay here".  
  
With that, he walked out, leaving Logan to worry about how long Forge was able to hold a grudge for...he'd heard it was a long time...  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, across the hall, Magneto and Xavier were watching Gambit as he fidgeted nervously in a chair. Magneto took a deep breath  
  
"Remy, why are you here".  
  
Remy blinked before starting to cry.  
  
"Okay, you broke Remy!", he said, panicked, "Remy tell you EVERYTHING. You win!!!"  
  
Mganeto and Xavier exhanged glances.  
  
"Gambit", said Xavier slowly, "we haven't asked you anything yet....".  
  
"Oh", said Gambit, stopping, "....Remy knew that".  
  
"So?", asked Xavier gesturing Remy to continue.  
  
Remy heaved a sigh.  
  
"It was all that stupid Kitty's fault with her reckless driving", he said, shaking his head, "poor Piotr. Anyway....things got broken and..well...Gambit here to win back some money".  
  
"Gambit, we left you with sufficent funds....", said Magneto.  
  
"Non", said Remy, "not after the shopping trip....and the Sea Monkies".  
  
Xavier blinked.  
  
"Sea Monk...no...no i don't want to know", he said, then gave a soft whimper, "please tell me my home is still standing".  
  
"Qui", said Remy, "...it's a little more...slanted now, but it's still there".  
  
Magneto sighed, going into is wallet and handing Gambit his credit card.  
  
"If i see: A, Toys , B, Alcohol, or C, Anything flamable, on the bill for this", he said ominously, "i will hold you personally responsible. Are we clear?".  
  
Gambit took the card, looked at it and gave his best 'I'm a good boy, really' smile. Being a thief, he couldn't pull it off, so it looked like a rather manical smirk.  
  
"How did you get here, anyway?", asked Xavier, "surely you didn't take a bus".  
  
"Non", said Gambit, "Remy...errrr...borrowed Scott's car. It's not like he can use it".  
  
Xavier suddenly felt a deep swell of dread for his prize student.  
  
"Please go home, Gambit", he said, "and don't let Pyro burn..anything"  
  
"A little late", Gambit muttered under his breath.  
  
"WHAT?".  
  
"Nothing, tra la la", said Gambit, "no inferno's at the Xavier mansion. No sir'ee".  
  
"Please, PLEASE go home".  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, Forge, Mystique and Storm, were enjoying the pool. Okay, so Storm was watching Clint do his class dreamily while her companions told her she was being an idiot, but that counted as enjoying..right? After his class was over, Clint grinned, swimming over to them.  
  
"Hey glad you see you decided to check..out..the...pool", he said trailing off, staring and Forge.  
  
"What?", said Forge, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Hey, you're missing an arm, MISSING AN ARM!!", said Clint, pointing wildly.  
  
"You don't say!", said Forge, his voice dripping with a venomous sarcasm, "i THOUGHT something was missing! Now i know what. Well, it MUST be lying around here somewhere".  
  
Clint backed away.  
  
"Sorry", he said, "i....eerrrrr".  
  
"Does that freak you out?", asked Mystique, raising a questioning eyebrow, she was getting more than a few fair stares herself, a blue woman often did.  
  
Clint opened and closed his mouth, looking over to Ororo for support. Ororo did not look pleased with his reaction. Damn, they were all ganging up on him.  
  
"I....uh....no", he lied, "nope, not one little bit..heh heh".  
  
Ororo had lived with teenagers long enough to know when someone was covering the truth.  
  
"You are quite possibly the smallest person in the world", she said, them promptly swam off to the oposite end of the pool.  
  
"Was it something i said?", asked Clint, lookign at the not too-happy Mystique and Forge, "err..never mind".  
  
Mystique was about to make a comment when she noticed a big, but furry hand waving in a desperate bid to get her attention. She sighed, swimming off to find Hank hiding behind one of the plastic trees that was supposed to make the place look like a tropical lagoon (A/N, the swimming pool across the road from my house is exactly like this) but it really, really didn't.  
  
"What is it?", she asked, "afraid to get your fur wet?".  
  
"No", said Hank, "look, Logan's had an...accident and we need you too keep Forge distracted until we can sort it out".  
  
"Why?....what did he do?".  
  
Hnak sighed.  
  
"He threw Forge's arm out of the window and it's stuck on a ledge", he said, "we have to wait until we can get a hold of a flyer to get it off".  
  
"Man", said Mystique, shaking her head, "it's a bad day for Forge and his arm".  
  
"I know!", said Hank, "so you and Ororo keep him distracted, okay?".  
  
With that, he started to head off.  
  
"Wait, how are we supposed to distract him?!!!", Mystique called after him  
  
"I don't know", said Hank, "use your instincts!".  
  
*****  
  
Oh boy, what fun is this? I shall remind you all happily that once this fic is over, you will find out EVERYTHING that happened in the mansion while the adults were away. Chapters like this serve as teasers for that one ;) Well, do review, until next time.... 


	18. Aligators DO live in the sewers!

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Diclaimer: "I lied. The house is alive. We're all gonna die".  
  
***  
  
Ok, a few of you have asked why Mystique couldn't have morphed into a bird, or Warren, and got the arm. Well, for Warren, though she could take on his apperance, she wouldn't be able to use his powers, i would have thought, and as for a bird, think how HEAVY a metal, bionic arm that can become and instant tool set would be. Pretty heavy, not light enough for a bird to grab it. Besides, i want Mystique to be in with Storm on the distraction, so there. neeeehhhh *blows rasberry*. So you were wondering if Cookie met the Morlocks, well, you know what?...  
  
***  
  
Chapter 18 - Aligators DO live in the sewers  
  
***  
  
Back at the pool, Mystique had swam up to Storm, who did NOT look happy, at all. You could tell her mood just by the humidity around her, that and the fact that there was the sound of thunder in the distance.  
  
"Hey...Storm?", said Mystique carefully, "Hank wants us to distract Forge, Logan's done something stupid, apparently".  
  
"I can't believe that...that self-centered, shallow little idiot!", replied Storm, her eyes glowing white, "i mean, who does he tink he is?!!!".  
  
Mystique blinked.  
  
"Errr...just to clarify...are we talking about Hank, Forge or Logan here?".  
  
"He said he was okay with the mutant thing!", spat Storm, "but is he okay with a prosthetic limb? Nooooooo!!!".  
  
"Oooooohhh we're talking about Clint", said Mystique.  
  
"I'm going to talk to him, now!", muttered Storm, swimming away.  
  
"Wait!", shouted Mystique, "what about...FORGE!".  
  
She jumped out of the pool as she saw him heading for the exit, getting in his way. Forge blinked and went to move past her, but she swerved back into his way.  
  
"Raven...can i get past?", he tried with a smile.  
  
"You know what a fun place to go is?", tried Mystique, "the beach! Let's go to the beach, you and me! I know hardly anything about you! We can talk about you!".  
  
"Okey dokey.....", said Forge, arching an eyebrow, more than a little bit scared, "can i please go get my arm first?".  
  
"Oh we have time for that later!", said Mystique, dragging him off by his good arm.  
  
*****  
  
"Coookie?", called a voice in the streets, "COOOOOOOOOKIEEEEE".  
  
Warren paused, thinking for a second.  
  
"Cookie, Cookie come home!", he tried, still nothing.  
  
He sighed, drooping his wings slightly.  
  
"I miss my aligator", he said sadly.  
  
Meanwhile, deep, deep, deep under the ground in the sewerage system walked Caliban, wearing his usual frown. He paused for a second, looking around. Nope no one was around and he sure couldn't sense any mutants. He glanced around one last time before clearing his throat.  
  
"Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter, Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter", he sang, dancing around, splashing water as he went, "Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade".  
  
Suddenly, something chomped down on his foot, hard.  
  
"Arrggghhhhh!", shouted Caliban, waggling his foot around, seeing a baby aligator attached to it, "what the?!!!!".  
  
There was a THUMP next to him as a giant lizard showed up, saw Cookie and made a squealing sound. Scaleface powered down to her normal form and plucked Cookie from Caliban's foot. Caliban blinked, how the HECK had she got past him?!!!  
  
"Awww it's a baby!", she said, giving Cookie a hug.  
  
"BABY?!!", said Caliban in shock, "it jussst tried to take off my FOOT!".  
  
"Oh, stop being such a hypochondriac", said Scaleface with a wave of her hand.  
  
Cookie, for once, didn't try to attack Scaleface, she seemed to recognise one of her own and chose instead to snuggle up to her new 'mother'.  
  
"Awwwww isn't she precious?", cooed Scaleface, nuzzling Cookie, "i think i'll call her....Fluffy!".  
  
Caliban blinked.  
  
"It's an aligator, not a kitten".  
  
"Oh, shut up, Fanny", said Scaleface, rolling her eyes and walking off.  
  
Caliban blinked again.  
  
"Hey, how'd you know about that?!!", he said, running after her, "hey!, wait up...oww foot hurtss, foot hurtss....am i missssing a toe?".  
  
*****  
  
It was after only a few minutes of walking on the beach with Mystique that he started to get a little bit suspicious. Considering she had taken no intrest in him so far, that fact that she wanted to know about his childhood...scared him a little. Mystique could see this and decided it was time for some imediate and desperate action.  
  
"Whoops!", she said, pushing him into a trench that some kids had made out of sand.  
  
Forge gave a squeak before he fell in.  
  
"Oww", he said, standing up and blinking a few times, "errrr Raven, can you help me up?..it's kinda hard with one arm".  
  
"Sorry i can't hear you over the sea!", shouted Mystique, kicking some sand into the hole.  
  
"Oh great, she's gonna bury me alive", said Forge, "come on Ray, the sea's coming in!!!!".  
  
Sure enough, a huge wave shot over the side of the trench, soaking Forge and leaving him in two feet of water. Mystique watched him, mmmm let him drown or let Logan get caught with his stupid thing? She sighed, pulling him out of the trench by his shirt collar.  
  
"Thanks", said Forge, before muttering to himself and starting to march towards the hotel.  
  
Mystique made a desperate jump for him, grabbing onto his leg, making him stop.  
  
"Raven, let go of my leg", said Forge calmly.  
  
"No, i can't!", said Mystique in desperation, "you can't go back there!".  
  
Forge rolled his eyes and started forward, dragging Mystique along with him.  
  
"You know", said Mystique, "for such a small, geeky person, you are suprisingly strong".  
  
Fogre ignored her carrying on heedless to the extra weight. Mystique slid down his leg, grabbing hold of one of his moccasins and falling back with it in her hand.  
  
"Ah hah!", she said triumpantly, "you can't leave, i have your moccasin! You'll burn your feet!".  
  
Forge blinked.  
  
"Mystique, i grew up in a desert", he said simply, "i don't need them".  
  
As if to prove his point, and to give him some time to escape, he took off his other moccasin, threw it at her and RAN.  
  
********  
  
"Is she still following us?".  
  
Sabertooth glanced casualy over his shoulder. Rabid was still padding after them.  
  
"Yup, she's still there", he said, going back to looking straight ahead, "what should we do?".  
  
"Okay", said Jason, "we're gonna run really, really fast into the hotel and hide in your room".  
  
"I like that idea, that is a good idea", said Sabertooth, "oooh, you could make us invisable".  
  
"She'd smell us", said Jason, "my illusions don't cover the sense of smell".  
  
Sabertooth looked at him and shook his head.  
  
"My God, you ARE useless!", he said, then blinked, "sorry, i haven't killed anything for a while, i'm having withdrawl symptoms".  
  
Jason edged slightly away.  
  
"Okey dokey", he said, "i'm gonna run now....".  
  
With that, he ran as fast as he could, Sabertooth close behind. They dashed through the lobby and finally into the hotel room, slamming the door behind them.  
  
"Hah!", said Sabertooth, "we win!".  
  
He blinked as he heard the sound of scratching on the door.  
  
"I think she found us", said Jason.  
  
"You don't say!".  
  
"Maybe if we leave her alone...and ignore her, she'll go away", said Jason hopefully.  
  
"Either that or she'll tear down the door", put in Sabertooth.  
  
"I am never doing ANYTHING with you, ever, ever again", muttered Jason crossing his arms, "'let's save the tiger', hah! Next time, go sign up with Greenpeace!".  
  
******  
  
Logan had been sitting in the room, staring out the window in a panic, where WAS Hank? As if his thoughts were answered, Hank arrived, a smile on his face, Magneto following him, Xavier close behind.  
  
"Thank God!", snapped Logan, "what took you so long?!!!".  
  
"I popped in to tell Shannon that i may be late for our concert, we have tickets", said Hank, then muttered, "not that they're any use NOW".  
  
"I was getting rid of an idiotic teenager", said Magneto, "well, let's get this over with".  
  
Magneto leaned out of the window and held out his hand. With a metalic hum, Forge's arm rose up from where it had been hidden on the ledge and hovered up to the window. Suddenly, the door slammed open, revealing a wet and slightly sandy barefooted Forge  
  
"AH HAH!".  
  
That was not the best move, as Magneto jumped, losing his conentration. Forge's arm dropped from the ground, bounced on the window ledge, then landed.....right into a garbage van. Forge's eye twitched as the van joyously crunched his arm into nothingness. He turned, very, very slowly to look at Logan.  
  
"Heh heh...err...whoopsie?", tried Logan, backing away, "....you're going to hurt me...aren't you?".  
  
"Start running", replied Forge.  
  
Logan didn't need to be told twice, and he took off down the hallway, pausing as he saw a tiger walking along the halls, before noticing Forge was in hot persuit and running as if his life depended on it. He jumped into his room and slammed the door shut. He laughed before turning around, right into Warren. Warren did NOT look happy.  
  
"Err....hi Warren", said Logan nervously, "what's up?".  
  
"Oh i don't know", said Warren, "what do YOU think?!!!".  
  
He pointed at the TV set, the porn that Logan had put onto a loop had finally, after so many days of continuous playback, given up it's fight. It had paused itself, with the big words 'error eject tape' scrawled across the screen.  
  
"Oh", said Logan, backing into the door.  
  
He glanced at the door behind him, mad Forge or mad Warren, oh choices, choices. He took a few seconds to decide, finally chosing the one armed man over the man with all his limbs, plus two. He opened the door, charged past Forge and carried on as fast as he could.  
  
"Don't think i won't find you and hunt you down, Jive Turkey!".  
  
******  
  
Wow, there was alot of running and door slamming n this chapter, wasn't there? Mmmm. Forge does indeed wear moccasins, if you watch Shadowdance, you can see them :) Oh and i AM aware he called Mystique 'Ray' at one point, that was what he called her a few times in the comics...go figure. And ne'h fear, this is NOT the end of Cookie, oh no. Please do review. Until next time.... 


	19. Ororo Munroe's unique perception of life

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Candlelight...privacy...music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat!"  
  
*** Okay my dear reader, i shall be going on holiday from the 23rd to the 30th, so no fics from me after then. Hopefully, i'll get LOTS of inspiration while i'm away, and i'll take my minds with me to be sure ;)  
  
Todd: The seaside the seaside, we're going to the seaside!!!!  
  
Wanda:...It's two hours from the house, and they call it a holiday?  
  
Remy: But it will be a week from de house..in a caravan!  
  
Wanda:..oh joy  
  
Oh the song Caliban sings is from Phantom of the Opera, for my good friend Shel. See, i promised he'd sing it ;).  
  
****  
  
Chapter 19 - Ororo Munroe's unique perception of life  
  
****  
  
"Lousy good for nothing...Jive Turkey".  
  
Forge muttered to himself as he made his way back along the hotel hallway. Logan had finally escaped him by running into a pet shop, then making sure there was a cage-full of rabbits between Forge and himself. Forge had given up after a while, told Logan he would 'get him eventually' and left. Now all he needed to do was sit down and make a whole new arm....goodie. THIS is why his mother had told him to make a spare. But since when did offspring ever listen to their parents?. He had just turned into the hallway that led to everyone's rooms when he noticed a huge tiger sitting in the hall. Rabid glanced up at Forge and gave a snarl, before charging at him.  
  
"Aggghhhhhh!!!".  
  
Forge made a desperate leap into the nearest room, just as Rabid smacked against it, he closed the door. He turned around to see a pile of orange juice bottles in the middle of the floor. Suddenly, the bottles moved.  
  
"Aggggghhhhh!!!".  
  
The bottles shited again and Storm's head popped out from under them.  
  
"Hello Forge", she said with a sad sigh.  
  
Forge blinked, glancing around for a possible hidden camera.  
  
"Ororo?", he said slowly, "are you...okay?".  
  
"No, i broke up with Clint"  
  
Forge supressed a happy dance. Instead he cleared his throat.  
  
"Oh...that's..err...awful", he tried.  
  
"I know you hated him", said Storm, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Oh", said Forge, then pointed at the bottles and Storm's state, "Are you drunk again?".  
  
"No, Mystique locked the liquor cabinet after the last...incident. I've been drinking this orange juice stuff", said Ororo, picking up a bottle of orangeade  
  
"How many bottles?", asked Forge, gesturing to the mountain of empty bottles from whence Storm had crawled from under.  
  
"I don't know....a MILLION!", said Ororo.  
  
"Are you trying to make a anti-scurvy campaign or something?", asked Forge wide-eyed.  
  
"No, i'm depressed!", said Storm, "and i hate men, men are pigs, pigs, pigs, PIGS!".  
  
Forge backed away slowly, only to hear Rabid scratching at the door. He contemplated for a second taking his chances with the tiger, before sighing and sitting down, watching as Storm downed another bottle of orange juice.  
  
*****  
  
"Why are we here again?".  
  
Warren gave Hank another glare.  
  
"Because Wolverine said he had picked up Cookie's scent down here and he was going to help me find her", said Warren, "and you all said you'd help too".  
  
"But a sewer?", said Magneto shuddering, "it's so...dirty".  
  
Indeed, Hank, Mystique, Warren, Logan and Magneto were walking along the sewers. Logan had been more than happy to help Warren find Cookie. It meant he had a few hours away from the hotel..and thus a few hours to give Forge the chance of calming down...hopefully. Xavier had smugly got out of this little 'trip' pointing out he couldn't get his wheelchair into the sewers. Magneto had begun to point out he could float the chair in, when he suddenly got a huge migrane and forgot all about it until he had entered the sewers. Storm had locked herself in her room and refused to speak to anyone and..for some reason..a large tiger was sat outside Sabertooth's room. As both Sabertooth and Jason were missing, the others could only make vague guesses at where they were, ranging from being lost in a desert, to joining a traveling cabiret bar.  
  
"This is RUINING my new shoes", said Mystique, sloshing around in the water  
  
"Oh shut up", said Hank, "it'll take WEEKS to get this smell out of my fur".  
  
"This way!", said Logan, pointing down a drainage system, "we're getting close".  
  
"I'm coming Cookie!", shouted Warren.  
  
"Can anyone else hear singing?", asked Magneto, blinking.  
  
"Silently the senses, Abandon their defenses, Helpless to resist the notes I write, For I compose the music of the night".  
  
Logan turnned a corer where Caliban was happily singing to himself. Caliban gave a squeak of terror.  
  
"Okay, my powerssss are sssstarting to REALLY ssssslip!", he said moodily.  
  
Warren, however, was glaring at Scaleface as she snuggled close to Cookie.  
  
"Give me back my aligator!".  
  
"YOUR aligator?!!!", said Scaleface, "Fluffy is MY aligator!".  
  
"Her name is COOKIE!!!", said Warren.  
  
Hank paused, cocking his head as he watched Scaleface and Warren stare each other down.  
  
"You know...i have a solution to this problem....".  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Forge had given up on escaping from the girls' room. Rabid had decided to sleep right in front of the door, so he had eneded up watching the 'Back to the Future' Tilogy. This, of course, had come on the condition that Forge was not to get ANY ideas from it, at all. Though Ororo had pondered if a hoverboard would bribe Evan home. Forge winced as the Doc Brown put some very odd looking contraption on his head, claming he could read Marty's thoughts with it.  
  
"Why do geniuses always have to follow the deranged manic stereotype?", he asked, "I mean...I'm not like that.....am i?".  
  
Storm pondered this, before giving her honest opinion.  
  
"I feel you should have an underground lair".  
  
"Oh..gee...thanks", said Forge dryly, absent-mindedly scratching the thin air that WOULD have been his arm.  
  
This made Ororo sit up grinning.  
  
"Oooooh, you suffer from Phantom pains, spoooookiiiieee!", she said.  
  
Forge blinked, looked at his arm and groaned.  
  
"Awww man, you'd think i'd have stopped that now!", he said.  
  
"What's it like?", said Ororo, looking like a school-kid, "is it freaky?".  
  
"Yes, very", said Forge, "now stop making me think about it".  
  
"Sorry", said Ororo, "Hey, if Giliagan and the Professor could make a movie theatre, why couldn't they just make a boat and get off the island?".  
  
Forge blinked at this completely random question. He hadn't seen Ororo drink any more orange juice all night....he was starting to worry about her.  
  
"...Errr...because Gilligan's an idiot?", he tried.  
  
"Mmmm..must be", said Ororo.  
  
She then made an odd snorting sound before passing out against Forge's shoulder.  
  
"Err..'Ro?", said Forge giving her a poke.  
  
Ororo mumbeled something incoherent and started to snore. Forge sighed, scooping her up with his one good arm to lie her on the bed. He put a blanket over and sighed as she settled into sleep. Forge shook his head in amusement before sitting down on the floor at the foot of the bed, continuing to watch the movie.  
  
*****  
  
Down in the Morlock tunnels, quite a crowd had gathered. Warren and Scaleface stood on either side of a long tunnel, Cookie place between them.  
  
"Okay", said Hank with a grin, proud of his briliant idea, "Are you both clear on the rules?".  
  
"Yeah", said Warren, "i call the Gator..and she calls the Gator, and we see who COOKIE goes to".  
  
"Well, FLUFFY will obviously come to me", said Scaleface, "i'm more of her kind than bird-boy".  
  
"I hatched her!", said Warren, "you just found her and stole her".  
  
"At least I didn't flush her down the toilet!", snapped Scaleface.  
  
"I DIDN'T!!", said Warren, "Sabertooth did!".  
  
"Excuses, excuses", shot back Scaleface, "face it, you're a bad parent!".  
  
"Take that back!".  
  
"NO!".  
  
SCRRRRREEEEEEECCCCHHHHHHH  
  
Both mutants fell silent and winced as Logan scraped his claws along the side of a sewer wall.  
  
"Lets just get this over with, huh?", he said, "i'm hungry".  
  
Warren and Scaleface stared at each other, before each begining to call the aligator between them.  
  
"Here Cookie, come back to Warren, i love you".  
  
"I love you MORE Fluffy, come to me!".  
  
Fluffy/Cookie glanced from one to the other. She paused, pondering her options, before making her choice.  
  
****  
  
Whaohahahahahhahahhahahahha. And that's all you get until i return in a week!!!!! Neh, just pulling your legs, i'm not THAT cruel. Click on to the next and *sniff* final chapter. 


	20. There's no place like home

Teacher Training  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Dislaimer: "Hello, hello, hello! What a wonderful word, hello".  
  
****  
  
Here it is, the final chapter of Teacher Training, hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. Don't think i've had so much fun with a fic for a long time. Oh in case you're wondering, i haven't forgotten Evan on purpose, he's..ahem...elsewhere. Tee hee.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 20 - There's no place like home.  
  
*****  
  
"I can't believe she picked that bald-headed, hissing freak!".  
  
"Oh, Warren, let it go!", snapped Hank, "Caliban was JUST as shocked as you were, believe me!".  
  
"He'd better look after her, or i'll...i'lll...".  
  
"You'll what?", said Mystique sarcastically, "you'll FLY at him?".  
  
It was the next day since the 'Aligator Incident' and everyone was packing the X-Van to head home. Forge had built himself a make-shift prosthetic limb to suffice until he could get home and build himself a proper one. Though he had muttered it would never be the same again, stupid Logan. Shannon had given Hank her phone number, so he could call for another not-a- date after he got home. Sabertooth, by some miracle, had managed to convince Magneto that the Acolytes REALLY needed a pet. It wasn't until he was putting Rabid into the X-Van that Magneto realised exactly WHAT kind of pet Sabertooth had in mind.  
  
"FOOOORRRRGGGEEYYY!".  
  
"Think she saw me?", asked Forge with a sigh as Amber ran over to him, giving him a hug.  
  
"I 'll be vistiting Bayville REEEEAAAL soon to say HI!", said Amber.  
  
"Lucky me"  
  
Amber laughed, giving him a punch in the shoulder.  
  
"I'll miss you, you cooky inventor, you!".  
  
"Yeah...bye Amber", said Forge, leaping into the X-Van and closing the door.  
  
****  
  
After a few hours, the X-Van was making it's way to Bayville. Rabid had curled up on Sabertooth's knee. Of course, she was half on him and half across Magneto's knees, as she was too big.  
  
"Yeah...this is how i thought i would travel", muttered Magento, as Rabid slept happily.  
  
"Think what she'll do fer the headquarters", he said, "shell keep those rowdy teenagers in line".  
  
"Before Pyro sets her tail on fire", muttered Jason from behind the wheel.  
  
"Shhhhhh!!!", said Sabertooth, putting his hands over Rabid's ears, "she'll hear you!".  
  
"Again, i must ask myself whatever i saw in him", said Mystique, shaking her head.  
  
"Because when you were younger you were desperate for a back-up?", said Sabertooth, a smirk on his face.  
  
"A backup?", asked Warren, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Yeah the whole 'if your not married by the time your 40, you marry each other' deal", said Jason.  
  
Forge raised a hand.  
  
"I only have four years left though...kinda pointless, isn't it?".  
  
"I'm already 40", said Hank sadly.  
  
"I'm over one hundred", said Logan.  
  
"Ditto" said Sabertooth.  
  
"I won't lie about my age", said Mystique, then fell silent.  
  
"You're all ooooollld", sang Warren  
  
"We're home", said Storm suddenly.  
  
Indeed, the X-Van pulled into the Institute's driveway.  
  
"Well....it's still standing", pointed out Hank.  
  
Indeed, the Mansion WAS still standing, though Xvaier had to wonder...did it ALWAYS lean slightly to the right? As the X-Van pulled up to a stop, the students crept out, big 'we were incocent the whole time' smiles on their faces. Which meant something must have gone wrong. Xavier noted that Scott was wearing a full body-cast, and was being wheeled out on a trolley by Sam, who was wearing a patch over his left eye. Other than that, everyone looked....reasonably healthy. Those damn smiles were so very unerving though.  
  
"Welcome back!", said Jean cheerfully...a little TOO cheerfully, "did you all have a good time?".  
  
"It was a living hell", said Logan, climbing out of the van and stalking into the house, "i need to get drunk!".  
  
Magneto, Jason and Sabertooth stepped out to see Remy with an equally disturbing big grin on his face. Piotr, on the other hand was twitching slightly and Pyro was looking at the ground, a small sad sigh escaping from him now and again.  
  
"Let's go home", said Magneto, before whispering to Xavier, "they haven't been THIS quiet for a long time...errr good luck".  
  
With that, a couple of metal orbs appeared out of the bushes....for some reason with pink gophers painted on them and landed in front of the Acolytes, opening up. Magneto was quick to usher his team into their orbs and get away super fast.  
  
"I'm going home to count my money", said Warren sadly, "hey, maybe i have enough to start a Aligator sanctuary. I'll call it 'Cookie's Cove'. Yeah!".  
  
Talking to himself of the great joy Cookie's Cove could bring to the world, Warren took to the air, heading towards home. Hank muttered something about calling his not-a-girlfriend and walked into the house. Xavier blinked, they were all deserting him.  
  
"You two are forbiden to leave", he said quickly to Storm and Forge.  
  
"I'm not an X-Man, you can't tell me what to doooooo", said Forge blowing a rasberry, "i'm getting out of this wiggy head-trip before anything else happens to me".  
  
With that, he headed over to the garage to find his beloved Pick-Up Truck. Storm glanced at Xavier, and then the students.  
  
"You know...i really should check on my plants....".  
  
Without another word, she ran inside the Mansion as fast as her legs could carry her. Xavier sighed, glancing back at his still-grinning students.  
  
"So...what did you do while we were away?", he asked, dreading the answer.  
  
"Oh...just.....stuff", said Kurt.  
  
"Yeah", said Ray, nodding quickly, "but not bad stuff. No bad stuff happened here".  
  
"HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TRUCK??!!!!".  
  
Kitty winced as Forge's voice came from the garage.  
  
"Well....except that".  
  
"MY PLANTS!!!".  
  
"And that", said Rogue.  
  
"WHERE THE HELL IS ALL MY BEER!!!".  
  
"Oh..yeah", said Tabby with a nervous chuckle, "forgot about that".  
  
Xavier took a heavy sigh.  
  
"Note to self, never EVER leave my home in the care of teenagers ever ever again".  
  
*****  
  
And we're done! How did you like? Look out for the tie-in fic 'When the Adults are away' when i return from my holiday. I should be able to get one more chapter of Mutants Make Good Cowboys before i leave. Please, do review. Nice to have had you aboard for this insane journey. 


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